


Bullet With Butterfly Wings

by TheRainbowShakaBrah



Series: Sacrifice Chloe Ending AU [1]
Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Complete, F/F, Implied Relationships, PTSD, Sacrifice Chloe Ending, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 21:51:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12491628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRainbowShakaBrah/pseuds/TheRainbowShakaBrah
Summary: You know the story. Max travels back to the bathroom. Chloe dies. And Arcadia Bay is saved. But the story doesn't end there. We'll never know what happened to Max during the five days leading up to the funeral.Until now.





	1. Episode 1: Broken

Episode One: Broken | Broken~ Lifehouse

* * *

The loud alarm blaring over the intercom is deafening to my ears, but honestly... that's the least of my problems. I'm hiding here, behind the stalls in the girl's bathroom in the immediate aftermath of a murder. Nathan Prescott, son of the apparent "King of Arcadia Bay" has just shot and killed someone I just realized is Chloe Price... Chloe Elizabeth Price… The girl I grew up with and abruptly left 5 years ago without a call or text.

I don't need to look to know she's dead, the heavy thud of her body hitting the linoleum, and Nathan's desperate, pleading cries assure me of this.

"Oh… shit! No no no no…" he cries, shaking the now blue-haired Chloe's limp, lifeless body.

I curl myself into a ball, hugging my knees even tighter to my chest as I cry. My sobs are loud and painful, but thankfully the alarm drowns them out. The only sound that registers is that of someone else barging into the bathroom, tackling Nathan to the ground.

"I'm sorry...I-I'm so sorry" the boy cries hysterically, "I'm sorry".

"Cram it you little shit", A harsh, rough voice says, followed by a metallic clanking sound.

I figure it's the security guard, he's the only one I know of that has handcuffs.

Whilst the man cuffs and aggressively pulls Nathan to his feet, he sends in a call out to call the police. It doesn't take long for the authorities to arrive, and, within 10 minutes, the whole school has been evacuated and police swarm the small room to whisk Nathan off to god knows where. They're gone so fast that none of the officers even bother to look around the bathroom, so no one finds me or even knows I'm here.

The guard is the only one left in the room when the officers leave, and seconds after the door shuts… he begins to cry.

"Oh, Chloe. I'm so sorry. I couldn't get to you in time".

That's when it hits me.

The security guard's name is David Madsen... Chloe's stepfather.

I- I don't know how I know this ...or why, but I do. And this realization makes me feel even worse. I try to keep my cries quiet, but it's no use... I can no longer hold my pain back and promptly burst into full-blown tears.

David remains silent, but I hear him quietly get up and wander over to my corner of the bathroom.

"What the-".

I flinch a little when he gasps and rushes up to me, clearly not expecting to find anyone.

"Are you alright?" he asks.

I don't reply.

"Did you see what happened?".

I still don't reply.

"Are you hurt?", David asks more calmly this time, losing his rough, demanding demeanor.

I look up at him and shake my head.

"Can you tell me your name?".

I swallow hard, my throat feeling dry and raw, "M-M- Max" I mutter.

David lets out a light sigh and gives me a forced smile, once again radioing for a medic.

"Can you move?".

I nod, slowly and reluctantly uncurling myself from the fetal position.

"Come on, let's get you out of here, Max".

He grabs something from beside me and shoves it into my bag, then, helps me get to my feet.

I struggle to hold myself up, my legs feeling like jelly.

"Easy…" David warns, holding me by the arm until I steady myself.

I swallow again, feeling an odd pressure build in my head as David slowly leads me around the corner of the stall to where Chloe's body lays.

There's a heavy black tarp obstructing my view, but that doesn't stop the blood from flowing out from under her.

The sight and smell of blood hit me like a ton of bricks, and I'm so overwhelmed that I can't help but dry heave, "Oh, god".

"Don't look, kid" David instructs, continuing to force me along as he struggles to maintain his composure.

"Oh, god," I mutter again, my voice catching in my throat, "C- Chloe…".

David has a small reaction to me saying his step-daughters name but I don't really get to see it because the next thing I know everything goes black.

The pressure in my head overtakes me, drowning out all my senses as I feel myself fall to the ground.

* * *

_Ice cold rain pelts on my skin as I struggle my way up the cliff leading up the lighthouse. The strong harsh wind tears through the treetops. I'm trapped… trapped in a storm again, just like I was in my dream earlier in class. I don't know how, or why I'm here… I just am._

_A glowing, translucent ghostly looking doe stands before me, acting as beckon in the storm. I follow it, dodging obstacles as I continue to ascend to the top of the cliff._

_Once there, My eyes widen at the storm, it's intensity heightened since the last time I saw is so loud… the wind sounds like screams as it blows past my ears. The top half of the lighthouse that I thought fell on me lays in the dirt, wobbling around in the wind._

_I look out unto the Bay, seeing the monstrous tornado tearing at the once calm beaches. Debris is already being swept up and thrown all over the place. I look around me, catching sight of a stray newspaper caught in the brush. I bend down and pick it up, reading the date and headline._

"What the…"  _I mutter, seeing the date on the newspaper,_ "October 11th… that's this Friday" _._

_My mind whirls around what this means, just as the paper is torn from my hands._

_I swallow hard, taking a few steps back, the storm growing more and more intense as the seconds pass. The tornado inches closer and closer to the town, and I can hear it, hear the winds tear into the beachside buildings._

_I bend down, pressing my knees to my chest and my hands to my ears._

_The wind continues to grow as it drowns out every other sound until all that's left is white noise..._

* * *

I groan a little, my head clearing of fog as I open my eyes.

"C- Chloe…" I mutter again, feeling a hand resting on my shoulder.

"Hey… hey, can you hear me?" an unfamiliar voice asked, it's owner giving my body a gently jostle.

I nod absently and rub at my head, "W- what… happened?".

The person sighs, "There was a school shooting… you got caught in the middle of it".

I swallow hard,  _I… I got shot?_  I blink a few times, seeing the person talking to me is a paramedic.

She sees my momentary panic and reassures me that I'm fine.

"You just blacked out sweetie, nothing to be worried about".

"What… where's Chloe?" I demand, my voice cracking slightly at the pain I'm trying to hold down.

I know full and well where she is… or,  _how_  she is, but… that doesn't stop me from asking.

The paramedic doesn't even look me in the eye, she just sighs and apologizes. "I'm so sorry".

I try to hold back my sobs but… it's impossible. I allow them to overtake me as I dissolve into pitiful tears on the front steps of Blackwell. The security guard must have left me here after I passed out.

"No, no… please no. Please, not her!" I beg, "Not, Chloe".

A few students are trying to crowd around me, trying to see who David heroically pulled from the bathroom.

One of the students is Warren Graham, a 16-year-old sophomore. He was one of the first people I met when I started school, next to Kate Marsh of course. Everyone implies that he has a major crush on me, and I admit that he is a really kind and sweet kid but... I just don't like him the same way, he's like my brother.

"Max! Hey, Max!" He calls out, trying to catch my attention.

I cringe a little and shift away at the sound of his voice, "No…, please… Chloe".

The paramedic sighs once more and snaps at somebody above me, signaling them to get the students to clear out. I figure it's David because I hear his voice break through the load voices of the students.

"You heard the woman, beat it" he snaps, the harshness in his voice lesser than it was previously.

Once all the students have been pushed behind police barriers, David comes up and kneels in front of me.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asks.

I look up at him, my eyes stinging from crying, "Chloe…".

"Was she your friend?".

I nod vigorously and bury my face in my hands again, "Oh, Chloe…".

I start shaking slightly, pain and anxiety rising in my chest.

"*sigh* We should get you checked out," David says as he and the paramedic lead me over to an ambulance that waits idly nearby.

As I'm being tended to, listening as one of the doctors say I passed out due to shock, I watch David walk off to the parking lot. A taxi cab just rolled up and my heart sinks when I see who jumps out.

Joyce looks almost the same as she did when I left 5 years ago. I mean that in the sense that she's still pretty, but… right now, she looks almost as scared and terrified as I feel.

They're too far off for me to hear but... Joyce falls to her knees when I assume David tells her about Chloe.

Tears well in my eyes once more as I watch her cry.

"Oh, god…" I mutter, keeping my hands pressed tightly over my eyes.

I'm glad that the paramedics and such left me alone as I cry, it's not that I'm ashamed to be seen crying. I'm ashamed at the fact that Chloe will never know that I came back. She died knowing and thinking that I abandoned her.

"*Ahem* Are you Maxine Caulfield?".

I jump, a new voice suddenly joining the many others surrounding me.

I look up and try to blink away my tears, "H- huh?".

There's an officer standing before me, a small notebook in hand, "Are you Maxine Caulfield?".

I nod and sniffle, slightly confused.

_Why do the police want to talk to me?_

"My name is Officer Berry and I'd like to ask you a few questions regarding what you saw in the bathroom".

I swallow hard.

 _What I saw? I- I didn't see anything_.

"I-... I" I begin, my voice catching in my throat.

I don't want to do this, I don't want to remember the fact that I watched my best friend get murdered and had done nothing to stop it from happening.

I don't want to think about what a shitty person I am for abandoning my best friend.

"Give the kid some space, Berry," a harsh voice says from the background.

I peer over the officer's shoulder, seeing David march back over to where I am.

"She's been through enough already".

Joyce pushes through the crowd and rushes up to me, throwing her arms around me as she hugs me.

"Max, sweetie. Are you alright?" She asks.

I shake my head and hug her back.

"She's gone," I sob, "I- I loved her, Joyce. I loved her and now she's gone,"

"I know, I know. She loved you too, Max... she loved you too," Joyce replies, hugging me tighter.

Why is it now that I'm realizing that I was in love with Chloe? I mean, we've always been a bit more than 'just friends', but why is this happening now... why now that she's gone?

"I should have done something... it should have been me" I cry harder, "It should have been me".

"Stop, Max. There wasn't anything you could do... M-maybe it was just her time to go" Joyce says as she desperately tries to comfort me.

I- I just lose it at that point and start crying hysterically, feeling myself slowly losing grip on reality.

"Try to breathe, Max," Joyce instructs, seeing me struggle to catch my breath. I shake my head and continue to sob, honestly not caring if I hyperventilate.

"Just breath".

I don't want to stop crying but I eventually do and allow Joyce to calm me, even though I know she's feeling just as destroyed and distraught as I am.

"Okay, sweetie… you need to let go now. This nice officer needs to talk to you".

I sniffle and nod, reluctantly pulling away from Joyce, "O- okay".

The officer comes up to me again a sad, sorry look on his face, "I'm going to need to take you down to the station and ask you a few questions" he says.

"Is that really necessary?" David asks, "Can't you just ask her here?".

The officer shakes his head and David sighs.

"We'll drive her there," Joyce says, resting a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"Sorry, I can't let you do that. She was a witness but we don't know if she had any involvement," the officer says, tapping his foot impatiently on the asphalt.

"N- Nathan," I mutter in a small, pathetic voice, catching the attention of all 3 adults, "He… she s- shot her. He shot her and she's dead".

"Berry, come on. The girl is obviously traumatized, give her a few days to recover and then I'll drive her downtown myself," David says, stepping in between me, Joyce and the officer.

"We don't have time, David. We already have the Prescott kid in custody. We've gotta get all the evidence we can get before that little shit's "Big Daddy" finds out what happened".

"Then I'll go with her,".

The officer sighs heavily, "You're not going to let this go… are you?".

"Like hell I am! That fucking bastard killed my little girl, by weeks end his ass better be behind bars… or worse".

"David!" Joyce snaps, even though there's not much fight in her voice.

I whimper a little bit when David and the officer help get me to my feet and lead me over to the cop car parked nearby.

"Give me your hands, kid," the officer snaps before allowing me inside the vehicle.

I obey, not realizing what's happening until I feel the cold metal of handcuffs around my wrists.

"The fuck is that for?!" David snaps, putting a hand on the officer's chest and moving him away from me.

"It's procedure, David… you know that" Berry replies, removing the guard's hand from his person.

"I- It's okay," I mumble in a deadpan voice, "I- it's okay".

At this point, I honestly don't care… I just want this to be done… I want all this to be over with. I want to wake up and find that all this was a dream so I can go and tell Chloe that I came back and that we can be pirates again and take over the world together. I sigh weakly, knowing that's impossible, that this is my unfortunate reality.

I allow the officer to sit me in the back of the cop car, trying to ignore the staring eyes of my peers.

This isn't the first time I've been in a police car… The first time was with Chloe… the day that William...died.

Joyce's hadn't been able to pick us up from the house after the accident, so she sent two officers out to get us after giving Chloe and me the news.

I shake my head abruptly, not wanting to relive or remember yet another traumatic experience in my life.

Anyways, I sit alone in the back of the car, with David riding shotgun.

I cringe internally at that word, "gun" even if it was said inside my head.

The car bumps along the road, the only sound audible (besides the police scanner) is that of the handcuffs. Only… The chains aren't shaking because of the uneven road… it's shaking because  _I'm_  shaking.

My hands and whole body are shaking and I didn't even realize it until now. I make a fist with my hands, desperate to steady myself. I close my eyes again, feeling warm tears stream down my cheeks.

 _Just breath, Max… it's only a few questions… just… tell them what you know,_  I think to myself, trying to remember the exchange of dialogue between Nathan and Chloe.

I vaguely remember hearing something about drugs and maybe a deal of some sort, and… now that I actually think about it, I don't really remember much about anything that happened  _before_  Chloe got shot.

I close my eyes and wait for this whole ordeal to be over, my mind running circles around itself.

Finally, the cop car comes to a stop a few minutes later and the officer rounds the vehicle and opens the door for me, allowing David to help me out.

"You alright, Max?" He asks, leading me inside the small police station.

I nod absently, feeling my body continue to shake with sadness and anxiety.

"C- can you take these off now?" I mumble once we're inside.

Officer Berry nods and gestures for me to hold my hands out as he removes the handcuffs, "There you go, kid. Now, this shouldn't take too long. I'm just going to ask you a few simple question, okay?".

I nod reluctantly and rub at my wrists, "Okay".

* * *

"Exactly what were you doing hiding behind the stalls of the girl's restroom this morning?" The officer asks, writing what I say down even though there's a tape recorder set out in front of us.

We've been in this room for two hours now, going over and over what happened and what I remember. Despite it being relatively quiet in the room, the clock ticking away on the wall sounds 10 times louder than it should in my head.

I swallow hard and shrug, "I- I just went in there to splash water and then I took a picture of a b- butterfly and… N- Nathan came in and s- started talking to himself and-". I stop, suddenly feeling unable to catch my breath. "I already told you all that I know. I have n- no clue why Chloe would try to blackmail him. I haven't seen her in 5 years!".

The officer nods and rests his pen down on the cold metal table we're both sitting at, "I know. Now, why don't you tell me a bit about Chloe? What was your relationship with her?".

I blink, feeling tears beginning to sting my eyes. "I- I… she was my best friend. S- she still is. I never meant to leave her… I didn't want to move away. We were supposed to grow up together, we were supposed to travel the world with me and be my Laura Croft. I *sniff* I wanted to write her back, I did, I did! I just couldn't bring myself to do it and I'm sorry… I'm so fucking sorry, Chloe. I failed you, I'm sorry… I'm sorry".

And with that, I dissolve into tears again, unable to hold back my emotions.

The officer sighs and reaches for recorder on the table, pressing a button to stop it.

"Alright. I think that'll do for now, Max. I'm sorry you have to go through all this but any and all information on what happened will help,".

I barely even hear him. I just continue to cry, my heart aching for the girl I left behind.

"Come on, we're done here".

I nod and sniffle weakly, allowing the officer to guide me out of the small, stuffy room.

The moment I step out of the room, I nearly run into someone. Arcadia Bay had never been known for having a high crime rate, but the moment we step out of the questioning room, the whole place is buzzing with energy.

"What's going on here?" Officer Berry asks, grabbing and stopping another officer as he passes.

"We just got a lead on the Rachel Amber case! Apparently that Madsen fellow got an anonymous tip about a Prescott owned barn in the woods with a bunker filled with perverted pictures of students from Blackwell. We gotta go now before whoever's responsible catches wind and tries to make a break for it".

I blink, startled by what I just heard, "What?".

Neither of the officer's reply, acting as If I'm not even there.

 _Blackwell students? Who would be taking pictures of Blackwell Students?_ I think to myself, jumping slightly when the officer continues to usher me away from all the action.

"Alright, kid. This is where I leave you. Do you have parents to call to come pick you up?".

I shake my head and swallow, my throat feeling dry.

"Any friends?". I think for a moment then shake my head, not knowing anyone with a car.

"Well, then. I'll see to it that one of the officers makes sure you get home safely okay?" Officer Berry says, gesturing to one of the other cops.

I nod and hug myself a little, trying to take up the least space as possible.

"Try to take care of yourself, Max," He says before storming out the door followed by about 6 other cops who bare bulletproof vests.

I look up at the officer left as he gives me a small patient smile, and leads me back into the small front room of the station. "I'll get you your things in a minute, kid," the young officer says, clearly trying for polite conversation, "And… condolences".

I sniffle a little and rub at my face a little, only able to give a small nod in response. "Here we are, one cell phone and tote bag," the man says, handing me my belonging that Officer Berry took before I was questioned.

"T- thanks," I mutter, gratefully accepting my things back. I take my phone in my hand and it's only then do I realize that my hands are still shaking. I grip my phone as if to steady myself out, praying the cop didn't see, which thankfully he didn't seem to have.

"Okay. Ready to go? It should be a quick ride back to Blackwell".

I nod and swallow hard, somewhat reluctant to return to the place my best friend was just murdered.

Sighing, I throw my tote over my shoulder and follow the young police officer out to his squad car, allowing me to sit up front.

The whole ride in uneventful as expected, the officer (Officer Reed) making minimal talk, knowing that I'm not exactly in the chatting mood.

* * *

 

Once I've been dropped off at Blackwell, I quietly shuffle across campus, thankful that the quad is relatively deserted.

All the students have most likely been asked to stay in their dorms for the remainder of the day, but that doesn't stop everyone. I caught sight of a few odd students milling around the front of the school smoking or whatnot.

Anyways, I eventually make it up to my room, the stairs taking its toll on my energy. This whole day has been both emotionally and physically exhausting, not to mention mentally too.

So, once I get into my dorm room, kick off my shoes and fall onto my bed, I start crying.

My sobs are hard and painful, leaving my chest heaving for breath.

Every tear I shed is for Chloe, they represent every second I didn't spend with her, every second she thought I'd abandoned her.

I cry and cry and cry until I'm left weak and shaking, my small frail body twitching every so often.

I close my eyes and sniffled, letting the pain of the day wash over me until I fall asleep.


	2. Episode 2: Surrounded

Episode Two: Surrounded | You Found Me~ The Fray

* * *

"CHLOE!" I scream, jolting awake from a dead sleep.

I look around the room, desperate to catch my bearings as I try to slow my rapid breathing. Tears sting in my eyes as I begin crying again, Chloe's pleading voice still ringing in my mind.

I- I was back in the bathroom, listening as Nathan shoots Chloe on repeat, her limp body thudding to the ground.

I claw at my head and shut my eyes tight, "No no no no!".

The walls suddenly feel like they're closing in on me and the sheets under my skin make it feel like I'm tied down to the bed.

I struggle to kick my covers and get as far away from the feeling as possible. I crash to the ground, feeling tension build in my chest as I find it increasingly harder to breathe.

"It's not real, it's not real, it's not real!" I sob, my cries growing louder and more frantic.

I pull myself into the corner of my dorm room and bring my knees to my chest, slowly rocking myself in place. My whole room is still dark, telling me that it's still pretty early in the morning.

I don't have anywhere to be tomorrow since class had most likely canceled  _forever_ … hopefully, so I just stay in the same spot for hours, watching as the sky eventually lightens and sunlight drips through my drawn shades.

How am I going to move on from something like this… I- I mean, I  _watched_ someone die. I watched my best friend die. The only person who will ever understand me is gone and she'll never know I came back.

I can feel tears overflow from my eyes as I flop over and curl up into a tight little ball, my next thought sending a physical pain throughout my body.

Chloe Price will never know I loved her.

I give up on trying to fight my tears that fall endlessly from my eyes, and sob harder than I ever have before.

I honestly don't care who hears me… I want people to know I'm hurting. I want people to know that I cared about Chloe Price when no one else would.

"I'm sorry, Chloe… I'm so so sorry" I mutter pathetically, my chest and side heave form the heavy sobs.

About an hour later my 7 O'clock alarm sounds, playing Alt-J's "Something Good".

 _What's good about anything anymore?_  I think as I wipe at my face a little,  _I lost something good and nothing will ever be good again._

A few moments into the song I hear a knock at the door and half expect one of the girls on my floor to start bitching and complaining about the volume, but I don't care… I want my music loud.

It'll drown out everything else.

It'll make everything else numb.

The knock gets louder and more persistent and with each bang I flinch, the sound echoing through my head like gunshots.

"G- go away," I finally mutter, unsure is whoever is at the door even heard me.

It's probably just Kate coming to check up on me and make sure I'm alright. At the moment I could honestly care less.

I just want to be left alone to wallow in my sadness.

The doorknob jiggles a little, making me glad I locked it for once.

"Max? Max are you in there?" A muffled voice says, continuing to knock at the door.

I don't move, I refuse to.

"Please… just let me grieve in peace!" I mutter to myself, burying my face in my arms.

The door juggles again, but this time followed by a click. My eyes shoot up as the door slowly swings open and in steps the last person I ever expected to see.

"V- Victoria?" I mumble, startled at the fact that she basically just broke into my room.

The pixie blond's eyes search the room until her eyes land on me. "Max…" she says, sounding genuinely concerned, "Are you… are you okay? I thought I heard you scream earlier,".

I keep my tired eyes trained on her face, not saying anything else.

Silence fills the room quickly, my alarm ending and fading out.

Victoria sighs and enters the room keeping the door wide open for the rest of the world to see what a mess I am, "I asked you a question, Caulfield. The least you can do is give me some sort of answer,".

If this were a normal day, I'd just ignore Victoria's usual bitchiness and go on my merry way, but today is anything but normal.

"F- fuck you, Victoria," I say, my voice sounding genuinely annoyed.

"She speaks," the blond retorts with a simple eye roll, "I'm not here to pick a fight, Max. Despite contrary belief, I-... we're all worried about you. You kinda just  _disappeared_  yesterday,".

More anger rises in my chest, "Y- yeah, I wonder why that was, Victoria. I w- was the only witness to you b- boyfriend killing my b- best friend".

She goes quiet for a second and I'm sure that I said enough to get her to leave, but she doesn't.

Instead, Victoria moves in closer to me, causing me to press myself closer to the wall.

"He wasn't my  _boyfriend_ , Max. Nathan was like a brother to me. And I know this might not mean all that much coming from me but… I truly am sorry about your friend, Max… I really am,".

I look at her doubtfully but her eyes show that she's telling the truth.

I let her continue.

"I was a bitch to her… I won't lie about that, but… honestly? I was jealous of her… she was a good person, and… well, I'm not".

"You are," I say without really thinking.

Victoria smiles and chuckles halfheartedly, "I'm really not, Max… but I appreciate the compliment".

It's odd seeing her be genuinely nice for a change… It's odd that she's being nice to anyone, especially me. I can tell that she's clearly not used to it… she has no clue what to say.

"Um anyway. Do… do you want to talk about what happened?".

I swallow hard and simply stare at her, the walls I was beginning to let down shoot right back up.

"Shit… too soon. I um, Sorry," Victoria says quickly, rubbing the back of her neck, "*sigh* Listen… if… if there's anything you need… or… you just want to talk, my door is always open,".

I nod a little, failing to muster up any type of verbal response.

She nods too and gives my room a quick once over, "You should try to get out today, get some air and sunlight. It'll be good for you".

I watch as she begins to make her way back to the door. "V- Victoria?" I mutter weakly, my voice wavering once again.

She turns to me slightly surprised that I called out to her.

A brief moment of silence falls between up as tears begin to fill my eyes again.

"How do you get over something like this?" I say, my voice heavy with pain and emotion as I begin crying again. "S- she's gone and I'll never be able to tell her how I feel!".

And just like that, I'm gone again.

I dissolve into tears, my chest heaving violently.

I hear Victoria rush up to me, her arms going around my body in an instant.

I fight to get away, anxiety filling my chest at her touch, but when I see she's not going to let go until I stop struggling, I give up and allow her to embrace me as I cry.

"This is my fault, it's my fault. I should have died! It should have been me! Why her? Why Chloe!" I cry, my pleas turning into near screams.

"I'm sorry, Max. I'm so sorry," Victoria says, desperately trying to calm me down.

Of course, my hysterical cries draw the attention of the rest of the Girls on my floor and they all simultaneously rush into my room and embrace me.

Their presence honestly makes me feel worse but I don't let on and just wait for myself to relax so they can go.

"We're here for you, Max," Dana says.

"It's all going to be okay," Brooke says.

"We're praying for you, Max," Kate says.

"It's okay to cry," Stella says.

"You're going to be alright," Taylor says.

I nod and sniffle, trying to pry the other girl's bodies away from me. "I'm fine, honestly I am, I just… want to be left alone" I say, taking slow, deep breaths. It takes some convincing, but I do eventually get everyone to leave, all except Victoria who insists I not be left alone.

"Y- you're supposed to hate me… so why are you being so…  _nice_  to me?" I ask, genuinely confused as to why Victoria is doing this.

"I- I don't  _hate_ you, Max. I actually think you're one of the coolest kids at school. You're kind and quirky, you don't give a shit about what anyone thinks about you and… your photography is outstanding, and I felt threatened".

I almost laugh because I always thought of my photography as shitty and Victoria's as outstanding.

"I hate that it took someone dying to get me to realize what a bitch I've been to you, Max, to  _everyone._ I want to change. I want to start being a better person".

I honestly don't have the words to respond to what Victoria is telling me but I nod as if wishing her well on her way.

She smiles at me and walks towards the door again, "At least try to shower, Max. It'll help a bit,".

I shrug and sniffle a bit, hiding my face in my folded arms.

"I'm serious… I want to see your ass out of this room by noon," she says, closing and locking the door behind her.

I sigh unevenly, deciding to give the shower thing a try. My clothes are disheveled and slightly dampened with sweat, and I feel generally dirty.

Pulling my knees away from my chest slowly, I get up and stumble a few times, my legs still feeling weak and rubbery.

"One step at a time, Max," I say, slowly making my way over to my shower caddy.

I grab it and take a deep breath before shuffling out of my dorm and into the shower room, thankful I didn't run into any of my other peers.

I sigh with relief when I find the whole shower block is empty, so I'll be alone for a while.

"You're going to take it easy, alright?" I say, continuing to talk to myself as I step into a stall and set my things aside, "Just… shower, go downstairs, maybe grab something to eat and…". I pause, suddenly holding a tight grip on my shirt before taking it off.

 _And try to forget. Forget that Chloe's dead and it's all because of you. You're a motherfucking coward,_ the voice in my head scolds

I take a shaky breath and hold in a sob sigh and feel myself closing off the world again.

After I strip down and set my clothes aside, I reach out with my other hand and turn on the tap, the warm water striking my skin stinging like needles.

I feel myself beginning to shake despite not being cold, my anxiety and emotions taking over again.

"I'm s- sorry I failed you, Chloe," I say in a small low voice that's barely a whisper.

I let a sob escape my lips this time, not having the strength to hold it back. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry".

My knees give after a few minutes and I huddle in the corner of my stall, my body convulsing slightly with each cry.

I stay there until someone starts yelling at me to hurry the fuck up and stop wasting all the hot water. I don't know how, but I eventually do get to my feet and shut off the wasted flow of water, redressing myself and exiting the stall as a shivering and crying mess.

The person who was yelling (I honestly didn't note who they were… everything just seems... dull) apologizes quickly when they realize it's me.

I don't even acknowledge them… I just slink off into my room and change into some drier clothes.

I choose a baggie dark navy blue hoodie and my usual lighter colored jeans, but as I go to grab my sneakers, I freeze in horror.

On the bottom of the soles are flecks of a dark reddish, brown substance that I can only assume is blood.

Chloe's blood.

I shut my eyes tight and shuffle away, feeling my stomach churn in the worst possible way.

"Just wear different shoes, Max. It's not big deal," I mutter, leaving the shoes abandoned on the ground as I reach into my closet and grab a pair of sturdy boots.

I'd brought these from Seattle in the hopes of hitting one of the many nature trails in the woods but it looks like that won't be happening anytime soon.

I sigh and take the boots, slipping them on my feet with ease. I look at my room, taking in every detail as if it's the last time.

 _You're being paranoid, Max,_  I tell myself as I grab my tote bag and slung it over my shoulder.

Victoria smiles when she sees me leave my room but respects my space, knowing full and well how quickly I can lose it.

* * *

It pisses me off how active the campus is, the jocks are throwing around footballs, the preppies are sunbathing on the green lawn and everyone else seems to have just carried on with their lives, completely forgetting the fact that less than 24 hours ago… a girl was shot and killed in the bathrooms.

I guess that's the point though… of moving on?

People live and people die all the time and the world keeps turning.

But Chloe… Chloe wasn't just any regular person… she was Chloe-  _Fucking-_ Price… and she was amazing.

She still is.

Chloe deserved so much time on this earth than what she got, and I wish with every ounce of my being that I could give her more.

Everybody on campus seems to be avoiding me, which is nice I guess, but also a bit lonely.

Warren is the only one who tries to engage in a conversation with me, but even then it's like he's talking to a fucking brick wall.

I still struggle to think about what to say when someone tries to say how sorry they are for me.

I want to turn to them and tell them how they shouldn't be sorry for me… they should be sorry for Chloe, the girl who had her life taken away by a deranged lunatic.

But I keep quiet, Nathan's words to Chloe repeating over and over in my head.

" _Nobody would ever even miss your punkass, would they?"_.

I swallow hard, "I'd miss you" I mutter.

"What?" Warren asks, making me realize that I'm still talking to him.

"Oh… s'nothing. I just… sorry, I'm not exactly in the best mindset right now," I say, rubbing my head tiredly.

"I understand, I mean… I wouldn't even know how to process seeing someone die. I mean…  _shit_ ".

I feel my face go slightly pale at his comment, even though I know he didn't mean anything by it.

"I- *gulp* I think I'm going to go now… I need some time to…  _think_ ".

"I'll come with you," Warren says, clearly trying to make up for his small slip up.

I shake my head, "I need to be alone Warren… I- I'm sorry".

"Oh, no no, It's fine, it's all good, Max," he says, seeming genuinely let down, "I'll see you around campus then… right?".

I shrug, "We'll see".

"Well, stay safe okay?".

I nod and continue my way around campus, pausing near the bus stop. I board the bus and let it take me anywhere but here, seriously doubting that anyone would even notice I'm gone.

_Perks of being the quiet girl, I guess._

I stay on the bus until it reaches the Two Whales Diner, the restaurant Chloe's mom works at.

Well, she did work there.

I didn't expect Joyce to show up to work today, which is honestly better for me.

I'm not sure I'm ready to face her again.

I shuffle over to a booth that Chloe and I always occupied as children and tweens, and flop down on the bench.

It's… quiet this morning, like the whole town (aside from Blackwell apparently) has a different feel to it, like… no one knows what to do.

A waitress I've never met before soon walks up to me and takes my order, which is the same as always because Max Caulfield never seems to change.

The waitress picks up on my odd sour mood and asks if it's because of the girl that passed away.

I nod and hold myself back from saying she was  _murdered_ , and she didn't just pass away.

"I'm sorry for your loss, she was one of the other waitresses here's daughter. So you must know Joyce then, right?".

I nod again, "Yeah… me and… me and her daughter grew up together" I mutter, unable to say  **her**  name aloud.

The waitress gives me a sad, sorry look, "Then you must be, Max. Right?".

I look up at her and nod, "Yeah… I'm Max".

"She spoke very highly of you, you know,".

I shrug and shift away a little, not wanting this conversation to continue any longer because I know that's a lie.

Chloe hated me… she  _had_  to… I was a horrible friend to her. I left when she needed me the most.

When I stop responding, the waitress finally takes her leave and goes to the chef with my order.

I sigh once she's gone and rest my head on the table, absently tracing my finger over some carved in graffiti on the wood. It's some sort of math or science equation most likely left by Warren or one of the other science nerds. I close my eyes for a moment, exhaustion quickly taking over.

* * *

_The tornado is much stronger now, the winds whipping violently at the trees and branches. I struggle to walk up the cliff again, slipping on the sodden muddy ground beneath my feet._

_The doe is still there, leading me along the debris-covered path. I reach the top and it's the same sight as last time. The large, terrifying tornado looms closer and closer to the small town, eating away at the shores. But this time… there's something different._

_A voice._

_"Max!" calls a distant voice, it's owner sounding scared and distressed._

"Chloe?"  _I call out, recognizing the voice in an instant._

_"Max!" she yells again._

_I look all around me, unable to locate the location of the voice._

"Chloe!"  _I cry out, wondering if she's trapped somewhere out in the storm,_  "Chloe!".

" _Max!"._

_I can't find her._

_"Max!"._

_Chloe's gone._

_"Max!"._

_She's not there._

_"Max!"._

_She's dead._

_"Max!"._

_Chloe's dead and it's my fault._

_"MAX!"._

* * *

I jolt away, this time able to hold in a scream.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, honey. Your food's ready" says the waitress, holding a steaming platter of food.

I lift my head up and off the table, feeling a little bit of dribble in the corner of my mouth. "Thanks," I mutter, reaching into my tote bag to grab my wallet.

"No need to pay, sweetie. It's on the house for you today".

I sigh a little but don't fight what she's trying to do, I'm kinda used to being pitied.

I wait until she leaves again to start digging into my food, which even then I find difficult.

 _Why did I even come here?_  I think to myself,  _I'm not even that hungry._

Well, whatever the reason, I'm here now.

As I eat, I look around the diner, memories of days past coursing through my mind.

I remember when Chloe and I would run in here after school and jump into our booth, eagerly awaiting Joyce's platter of after-school snacks.

I remember staying here late nights, Chloe helping me with my homework as Joyce worked.

I remember my parents coming to pick me and Chloe up for sleepovers, me already half asleep in the car.

I smile a little, remembering how Chloe always coaxed me into leaning my head against her shoulders as I slept.

The smile doesn't last though, the knowledge that I will never be able to make any more of those memories with Chloe tears me up inside.

I finish my meal soon after and slip out of the booth, shoving my hands into the pockets of my oversized hoodie.

The waitress waves me off and I pretend not to see or hear her, not wanting to engage in any more conversations today, or ever again.

It's cold when I get outside, colder than usual, but then again Arcadia Bay is right next to the ocean, so… I guess I can't complain.

Anyways, I trudge down the street a little ways, pulling my hood up and over my head, tugging the cord so that only my eyes are visible.

 _Why did Chloe have to die?_ I ask myself, going back to the bus stop,  _what trouble could she have possibly gotten herself into?_

Even as a kid, Chloe seemed to be a magnet for trouble, but this just takes the cake.

From the brief police report that I was able to read, Nathan stated that Chloe had asked him to meet her in the girl's restroom that Monday morning to talk about some sort of deal, or payoff to keep him quiet for something that wasn't disclosed.

I sigh again and shake my head, grabbing my phone and earbuds from my tote and putting them in my ears, intended on drown out the rest of the world.

I hop on the bus and decide on staying on the route until I hit the end of the line which is near the junkyard at the edge of town, but the driver says it's a no-go. Apparently, the police have business over that way and all roads leading to the junkyard are closed off to the public.

"Just… just take me back to Blackwell" I grumble, heading towards the back of the bus.

I flop down on the seat and let my music wash all the pain away. Except, my playlist and music choices have a different plan. I visibly cringe when the first few notes reach my ears.

**_"I found God on the corner of First in Amistad_ **

**_Where the west was all but won_ **

**_All alone_ **

**_Smoking his last cigarette_ **

**_I said where you been?_ **

**_He said, ask anything_ **

**_Where were you_ **

**_When_ _everything was_ _falling apart?_ **

**_All my days_ **

**_Spent by the telephone_ **

**_That never rang_ **

**_And all I needed was a call_ **

**_That never came_ **

**_From the corner of First and Amistad_ **

**_Lost and insecure_ **

**_You found me, you found me_ **

**_Lying on the floor_ **

**_Surrounded, surrounded_ **

**_Why'd you_**   ** _have_**   ** _to wait?_**

**_Where were you, where were you?_ **

**_Just a little late_ **

**_You found me, you found me"_ **

"I'm sorry, Chloe," I mutter weakly, "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you".

**_"In the end_ **

**_Everyone ends up alone_ **

**_Losing her_ **

**_The only one who's ever known_ **

**_Who I am, who I'm not, and who I wanna be_ **

**_No way to know_ **

**_How long she will be next to me_ **

**_Lost and insecure_ **

**_You found me, you found me_ **

**_Lying on the floor_ **

**_Surrounded, surrounded_ **

**_Why'd you have to wait?_ **

**_Where were you, where were you?_ **

**_Just a little late_ **

**_You found me, you found me_ **

**_Early morning_ **

**_City breaks_ **

**_I've been calling_ **

**_For years and years and years and years_ **

**_And you never left me no messages_ **

**_You never send me no letters_ **

**_You got some kind of nerve_ **

**_Taking all I want_ **

**_Lost and insecure_ **

**_You found me, you found me_ **

**_Lying on the floor_ **

**_Where were you? Where were you?"_ **

I start crying a bit harder at that point, silent tears streaming down my pale cheeks. I'm glad there aren't that many people in the bus because I'm close to having another breakdown and I'm not sure I can handle it.

**_"Lost and insecure_ **

**_You found me, you found me_ **

**_Lying on the floor_ **

**_Surrounded, surrounded_ **

**_Why'd you have to wait?_ **

**_Where were you, where were you?_ **

**_Just a little late_ **

**_You found me, you found me_ **

**_Why'd you have to wait_ **

**_To find me?_ **

**_To find me?"_ **

"Deep breaths, Max… you're going to be okay… it's all going to be okay" I mutter, trying to regain my composure. I pull my earbuds out and decide to spend the rest of my trip in silence, not trusting my playlist to pick songs that will actually make me feel better.

I follow my own advice and take deep, slow breaths until the bus pulls up to Blackwell, waiting idly until I hop off.

"Thanks," I mutter to the driver who gives me a soft smile, most likely seeing the tear stains on my face.

* * *

When I step off the bus and watch as it pulls away, I can't help but notice how much colder it's gotten. The sky too seems to be mimicking the weather, turning a dark, ominous gray.

Something's wrong.

I can tell.

I look over to the parking lot and catch the blue and red flashing lights of police cars.

For some reason, a name pops into my head… telling me that's the reason the police are here.

"Kate".

I run towards the main building and see a large crowd of students surround the front steps. I arrive there just in time to hear a loud commotion coming from within the school. I look around, startled, a small group of students pulling me aside and out of the way of the main path.

I wiggle out of their grasp and rush up to Kate when I see her.

"Kate.. are you… are you okay?" I ask, wheezing a bit from running so fast.

She nods and gives me a slightly concerned and confused look, "Of course… why wouldn't I be?".

I blush and shrug, "I- I don't know. I just… got a weird feeling is all".

"Oh…".

I look back at the commotion.

"What's going on? What happened?".

She shrugs, "Mr. Madsen and a few other officers came in during the middle of class and arrested Mr. Jefferson. I- I think he had something to do with the Murder of Rachael Amber,".

Rachael Amber… for some reason, that name burns my ears.

"Who?" I ask even though the name sounds hauntingly familiar.

"The girl who'd been missing for the past six months… her posters are all over town,".

I nod, stumbling a bit, my mind suddenly spinning.

"Max, are you okay… your nose is bleeding a bit," Kate says, resting a hand on my shoulder.

I can barely hear her, my thoughts are clouded by a 'vision' of sorts. It's just a quick flash of images, the junkyard, a shallow grave, a blue blouse poking through the ground… and in a split second… I'm back.

"Max. can you hear me?" Kate says in an echoey voice.

"Yeah.. yeah, I'm fine," I reply, regaining my balance, "Sorry".

The officers soon bust through the main doors, escorting Mark Jefferson out of the building, "Unhand me you filthy pigs!" he spits, struggling in his handcuffs. He catches sight of me and if looks could kill… I'd be dead where I stand.

A cold chill runs down my spine and I shiver visibly under his gaze I swallow hard and subconsciously rub at my wrists.

One of the other officers following close behind gives us an odd look, which is completely unnerving.

 _Please don't want to talk to me again. I honestly don't think I can handle it,_ I think to myself, taking a subconscious step back when the officer walks up to us.

"Are you, Ms. Marsh?" He asks, pointing to Kate.

Kate nods, "I am,".

"We were told you'd like to speak with us regarding Mr. Prescott and Mark Jefferson?".

She nods again.

"Okay, you'll have to come with us and make a statement,".

Kate immediately turns her attention to me, "I- I need to go with the officers, Max. Will you be okay here by yourself?".

"What? Why do you need to go with them?" I ask, anxiety flooding my mind.

"I- I'll tell you when I get back, okay? It's… it's a long story".

I nod and watch as one of the officers kindly leads Kate out of the building.

I blink, feeling uncomfortably alone after Kate leaves even though I'm swarmed by other students.

"Alright, back to your dorms everyone, the show's over!" says another booming voice that I recognize as David's.

He spots me but keeps a straight face, pretending not to be in pain.

I follow the hoards of students as they all trudge back to the dorm.

Victoria finds me in the crowd and asks how my day was and if I was okay since it looked like I was crying.

I simply shrug, unsure what to say to that. "Are you okay?".

I can tell that she's anxious too, probably because just yesterday morning before all the bullshit happened, she was flirting up a storm with Mr. Jefferson. I don't know the reason  _why_  Mr. Jefferson was arrested, but I get the feeling I don't  _want_  to know.

"I- I will be. Thanks, Max".

I shrug again, "No problem".

"Well, I'll see you later then… alright?" Victoria asks once we return to our floor.

"Yeah… I guess," I mutter, pausing just outside my room, catching sight of the dry erase board on the wall by my door.

"Students have been leaving messages for you all day," Victoria says, "You say that people don't notice you, Max but… you're better known than you might think,".

I blush and sigh, listening as Victoria closes her door behind her.

I get inside my room and shuffle over to my desk, abandoning my tote bag on the floor as I flop down on my desk chair. I click on the light and see one of my old photos sitting on my desk. It's a photo of me and Chloe… dressed up in our pirate gear.

I'd forgotten that I'd brought this back with me from Seattle… but… I'm pretty sure I left it in one of my drawers.

I shake my head, too tired to try and figure out how it got out here on my desk. I lay my head down on my folded arms and yawn.

Even though Arcadia Bay is a quiet town, I can't shake the feeling that something ominous going down at Blackwell… something big.

This crazy week proves it.


	3. Episode 3: Complicated

Episode Three: Complicated | Complicated~ Heavens To Betsy

* * *

I wake up once again crying out Chloe's name in a blind panic.

 _It's just a dream, Max_  I tell myself,  _you're okay._

I take a few deep breaths to calm myself down before settling back in my chair. I sigh and dig my phone out of my pocket and check the time, seeing that it's not even 12 . o'clock. I finally decide to check my messages, which, like time, are infinite. Both my parents have been trying to contact me but I ignore their texts along with all the ones from various classmates.

I know I should be feeling… something, anything at all, but… I don't.

I mean, I feel like I should be feeling something more than just… emptiness.

I sigh again and stretch out as I stand up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I seriously need some fresh air, my room feels so small, and cramped… suffocating, So, I decide to go take a walk outside.

But if I'm going to do that, it means I'm going to need to break curfew, something I've never done before. It's not like it really matters if I get into any trouble, well… it's not like I'd care.

I sigh and pick my tote back up off the ground and grab the photo of me and Chloe that was left on the desk. I put it into one of the side pockets of my bag, stopping when I feel another photo already in there.

"What the-".

I put my bag down on my bed and pull out the second photo, jumping back in surprise when I realize what it's of.

I slowly walk up and pick up the photo I dropped, seeing the bright blue wings of a butterfly resting on the edge of a bucket. I swallow hard, realizing that this is the photo I took moments before Chloe's murder. As I hold it, my hands start shaking again, forcing me to stop and take a deep breath to steady myself. I sigh, looking at the photo again, catching sight of my reflection in the bucket.

It's… it's actually a really good photo, might have even had a chance at winning the Everyday Heroes contest, but right now… it feels like I took a picture of death itself.

I go to leave the photo behind, but… I can't bring myself to do it. I sigh once more and put both photos back in my bag before heading out. I shuffle to the door and quietly step out into the pitch black hallway, tip-toeing my way out of the building, hoping I won't seen.

"Max, you know I can see you… right?".

_Shit._

I stop and sigh, walking back to Dana's room. She's sitting on the small couch across from her bed, staring at me standing in the doorway. "Um… hey, Dana. What… what are you doing up?" I ask, rubbing at my neck.

"I could ask you the same thing. Max, it's almost midnight".

"I know, I just needed-".

"No need to explain or make excuses. You- you deserve a break from all this bullshit, especially with what happened with Jefferson".

I raise an eyebrow, "What  _did_  happen with Mr. Jefferson? I mean, I know he got arrested yesterday but… I'm kinda in the blue on why,".

Dana sighs and shakes her head, "I- I don't know much but apparently the sadistic bastard had Nathan targeting female students at all the Vortex Club parties just so he can drug them, kidnap and take perverted pictures of them half-conscious".

I swallow hard and take a small step back.

"You okay, Max? You look a little pale".

"Um, yeah… sorry. The, um… I overheard the police saying something about a… bunker in the woods with binders. I um… I guess that was Jefferson's doing,".

"Yeah… I just feel bad for Rachel Amber's parents they were in denial she was missing, you know. Thought she just up and left without Chloe".

"Wait… Chloe knew Rachel?" I ask, my anxiety settling for a moment.

"Pfft, those two were inseparable. The school's hottie and town delinquent become BFFs… it's like something out of a fairy tale".

"R- Rachel was… Chloe's  _best friend_?".

Dana nods but then looks up at me in horror, "Oh no! I'm so sorry, Max. I forgot that you were Chloe's friend, too".

"No, no… it's okay. She… she um, found someone better than me. Someone who was clearly there for her when I wasn't,".

An awkward silence settles between us before Dana asks how I'm holding up.

I shrug, "I don't know. I- I'm okay one minute and then the next I'm just… not,".

"Do you need to talk to someone? I think we have a grief counselor here".

"N-no… I think I'm good in that department" I mutter, taking a slow, deliberate breath.

"Well, we're here for you if you need us, Max".

I nod and kick at the carpet. "Um… can I go now? I'm just… I need to go walk around for awhile… clear my head" I mutter, keeping my eyes low to the ground.

"Yeah, Max. Just… you look like you could use a hug. Mind if I give you one?".

I shrug, knowing it's impossible to say no to Dana Ward.

"Okay".

She smiles and gets up, wrapping her arms around me.

I hesitantly hug her back, not exactly use to all this closeness.

"You do know you're shaking… right?" Dana says, pulling away, but keeping her hands on my elbows.

I nod, "I am aware of this". It's not a big deal to me… I've tried to ignore this little quirk for the past two days.

"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or evasive… or both".

" _At this point, I can't even tell,_ " I mutter softly under my breath, taking another step back. "I'm just tired, I guess. I haven't slept all that well since the shooting".

Dana nods, "I know… We can hear you crying sometimes but Victoria is the only one who actually gets up to make sure you're alright".

I nod and blush a little, "Yeah… I think this whole experience changed her… changed all of us".

"I suppose so," Dana says with a small sigh, "Anyways, don't let me hold you back any longer, okay? Just try to be back soon and stay safe. And if you need to talk, please don't hesitate to call. I'm a 24/7 help hotline".

I shrug, and take a step back out of her room, "I- I'll keep that in mind".

"I'll see you later or in the morning, okay?".

I nod again and continue my way down the hall, pulling my hoodie's hood over my head. I sigh as I quietly slink down the stairs and out of the building.

I push open the large doors and step out into the cool nighttime air. I've never been outside my dorm this late… and it's actually really nice. The whole campus is calm and tranquil, fireflies illuminating the small courtyard.

I walk up to one of the benches and sit down, listening to the crickets and night birds sing. Taking a long deep breath, I sigh lightheartedly, the clear air actually helping cut through the fuzz in my head.

I close my eyes and kick my legs up, lying back on the bench and staring up and the clear night sky. I yawn a little as I wrap my arms around myself, the slightly cold sea breeze sending shivers throughout my already quivering body.

I sigh and sit back up, rubbing my arms to keep in the warmth. I look around the courtyard again, catching sight of a tall dark figure looming in the shadows.

The Tobanga, the tall totem pole-like-statue, watches over the small area with a menacing presence. Nobody knows much about the Tobanga, or how it got here on campus but it's become something of a Blackwell legend. It's actually pretty scary and intimidating, but at least its name is fun to say.

"Tobanga, Tobanga, Tobanga," I repeat, a small snicker forming at the edge of my lips.

* * *

Since none of the buses run at this hour and I have no mode of transportation, I'm stuck here on school grounds for the time being. I sigh and continue my way throughout the campus, not really having a set destination in mind.

My feet, however, seem to have a different idea as they lead me towards the front of the school.

I pause momentarily, watching in the distance as the lighthouse turns itself on, the beacon spinning round and round in an almost mesmerizing fashion.

Anyways, I realize that I'm headed towards the Blackwell pool for a reason that is not clear to me… but for some reason, I feel like I'm supposed to be here. Without really thinking, I reach out for the handle on the door, figuring that it would most likely be locked, but no. The door swings open with ease, allowing me entrance to an otherwise closed off part of the school.

It's almost like someone else was here before me, or perhaps they're still here.

I continue to walk inside, keeping a close eye on my surroundings, feeling an incredibly strong sense of deja-vu.

It's really weird, I've only been here at Blackwell for three weeks but I seem to have knowledge of where everything is… including the light and heat controls for the pool, which, for some reason, I turn on.

Once I flip the switch I jump, hearing a small splash coming from the next room. I rush out to the pool, half expecting to see someone there but I'm still alone. The water is still except for a few ripples caused by a shark floaty bobbing up and down in the middle of the pool.

I step closer to the water's edge, "He-hello? Is… is there someone there?" I call softly.

No response. I sigh and run my fingers through my matted hair. "Just… calm down, Max. You're being paranoid again" I tell myself, looking back down at the shark.

The damn thing was probably already there and I just didn't notice it.

I sigh again and set my tote bag down, "Just Chill".

I keep my eyes trained on the water, a thought popping into my head.

_It wouldn't be a bad thing it I go for a quick midnight swim… would it?_

I mean… I'm here, and I'm alone, so… who's to stop me? I smirk slightly as I kick off my shoes and pull off my hoodie, sitting down on the concrete edge of the pool.

I might not go for a full-on swim, but a quick dip of my feet should be relaxing enough.

Pulling off my socks and roll up the cuffs of my jeans, I slide my bare feet into the warm calm water, sighing almost contently.

I lay back and close my eyes again, enjoying this moment of calm. A few moments later my mind begins to wonder as I start thinking about what Chloe might say if she were here now. If I know anything about Chloe, It's that she loved trouble, and I can see that interest hadn't changed much into her brief adulthood.

I smile smally as I think about how that situation would go down in my head. Huh, I bet that Chloe would jump into the pool without hesitation, then start begging me to join her. And once I do she'd start teasing me about still not being able to watch any of those shark shows like she always did whenever we went swimming together. Chloe loved to tease me by humming the "Jaws" theme whenever she swam past, despite knowing that I hate… sharks.

I sit up a little, keeping a sharp eye on the floaty. It doesn't seem to have moved, but I continue to watch it… just in case.

"Chloe, if haunting me is your idea of revenge for not staying in contact, it's not funny" I mutter to the shark, acting as if it can actually hear me.

Nothing happens.

The shark remains still and nothing supernatural or out of the ordinary happens. I sigh and shake my head, lying back down on the cold, damp concrete.

I'm just about to close my eyes when the loud bang of a door opening and closing make me jump in my skin. I take a deep breath, telling myself that it's most likely one of the night guards making his nightly rounds. I sigh and stay where I am, the footsteps growing louder as the guard comes closer to where I am. Who cares if I get in trouble or even expelled, now with the whole Jefferson  _and_  Prescott scandals… Blackwell is going to get shut down for sure.

"Max?" says a familiar rough voice.

I look up and force a half smile for David.

I honestly don't know why he's even here, you'd think he'd be at home, comforting Joyce and grieving… but I guess to cope with the pain… he busies himself with work.

"You're not supposed to be in here," he says.

For once he doesn't sound pissed, or angry or even annoyed… he's just stating the obvious, telling me what I already know.

I simply shrug, not having the energy to speak nor move.

David sighs and kneels down beside me, "Can't sleep, huh?".

I shake my head and pull my feet from the now cold pool, pulling my knees to my chest.

"I'm sorry you have to go through all this, Max. Joyce… she told me about you two, how close you were? And from what I heard the other day… I think there was a little more there than met the eye".

I blush and swallow hard, "M- maybe,".

I can tell that David wants to say something more, but he doesn't exactly know how, so we sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

"The service is this Friday" he finally mutters, "Joyce and I would… we'd both like it if you'd attend, but we understand if it's too soon,".

"I'll go," I reply, quickly and quietly.

_It's the least I can do after 5 years apart._

He nods and stands up, offering a hand out to me.

I ignore it and stand up on my own, picking up my sock and shoes and hugging them to my chest. I sigh and turn around, heading back the way I came.

"Joyce has been tryin' to reach you since yesterday. Wanted to know if you'd like to stay with us until the funeral. Doubt you'll get any sleep here anyways".

I pause and turn back to David, eyebrow raised.

 _You want me to stay at my dead best friend's house so that I can sleep better?_  I think to myself,  _That's a great idea!_

But, who knows. Maybe being in a familiar, safe place will help with my anxiety and poor sleeping habits.

Might even help the nightmares.

I nod a little and accept his and Joyce's offer, "Okay… I don't have a car though".

"That's fine… I'll drive you. If… if that's okay." David says, gesturing to the door.

I nod and shrug, following along as he leads me back to the school and into the front office where he clocks out.

As David does that, I wander over to the girl's bathroom, which is taped off by police tape.

 _Along time ago,_  I think,  _Some crazy bullshit went down in the girl's restroom._

I sigh, feeling tears rise up in my eyes, "I'm sorry, Chloe". I mutter, balling my fists to steady my shaking hands.

"It wasn't your fault," David says as he comes up behind me.

I shrug, "I still should have done something instead of hiding behind the stalls and taking a fucking butterfly photo".

"There wasn't much you could have done without getting hurt yourself," He says, placing a firm grip on my shoulder, "Now come on, I know it hurts, and I know you're hurting inside but you can't hold onto the pain forever,".

"But… I- I feel like if I'm not sad or hurting, or in pain... I'm forgetting about her,".

"Nobody could forget Chloe, Max. She was one of those special people who resonate with you long after they're gone".

I sigh and nod, taking one last look at the bathroom before following David again, allowing him to lead me to the parking lot where a rust-bucket pickup truck awaits.

The truck isn't his, I can tell that the moment I jump into the cab… it's Chloe's.

There's graffiti all over the interior, various phrases and saying written neatly in her handwriting. I sigh, realizing that I've seen similar tags around school. From what little I actually know about the  _current_  Chloe, I figured she was most likely kicked out of Blackwell  _long_  before I arrived. It would have been cool though, going to class together again… just like old times.

I yawn and close my eyes, a wave of warmth and calmness washing over me as David drives down the silent highway. I feel oddly content surrounded by Chloe's things, feeling as if she's right there in the car with us.

Tiredness continues to overtake me, even as the truck pulls up to the half-painted house.

"Come on, kid," David says, opting to hold my tote for me, "Joyce is waitin' for ya".

I hum a reply and shuffle towards the door and just like David said, Joyce is waiting right there for me, arms open in a welcoming embrace.

I walk into her arms and start sobbing again, listening as she tries to calm me down again.

I've always been sort of a second daughter to Joyce and now… she needs me more than ever… We both need each other.

I sniffle a bit as she leads me inside the warm house and onto the small pullout couch in the living room which has seemingly been set up for me. I thank both adults before the head upstairs.

I continue sniffling a little, once again, pulling my knees to my chest. The familiarness of my environment does seem to help, but I can't help feeling like there's something missing aside from the obvious.

I look around and grab my tote bag, opening up one of the pockets and pulling out both photos, setting them out beside me. I smile softly at the image of me and Chloe as kids, knowing that even if she's not with me now, she's still with me in the photos of the past, and that's something that can never change.

* * *

The next time I open my eyes, I find myself in Chloe's room, her sheets wrapped tight around my shivering body.

I yawn and stretch out, vaguely remembering moving up here in the middle of the night so it takes me a moment to take in my surroundings.

Chloe's room is a little different than the last time I saw it. Okay… maybe  _a little_  is an understatement, I mean.

Holy shit.

From pirate flags and Jonas Brothers posters to punk garb and explicit graffiti on the walls. Chloe Price was indeed a different girl than the one I grew up alongside.

One of the first things I notice about the room is the lingering stench of weed and the abundance of beer bottles that litter the floor.

I look at one bottle and smirk, my mind going back to the time Chloe and I snuck sips of Joyce's wine and ended up spilling it everywhere.

I sigh again and rub at my arms, a chill breeze striking my skin. I look over and notice that the window is cracked open, letting in the chilled morning air.

I hop out of the bed and shuffle over to the window, silently cussing at myself for not thinking about closing it when I first got up here.

I just about to round the corner of the bed when I nearly trip over a small metal box half sticking out from under the bed.

"What the… seriously, Chloe? A metal box under the bed equals secrets". I mutter, bending down and picking it up.

It's pretty light, so I don't expect any big surprises, like a  _gun_  god, forbid.

Anyway, I hop back onto the bed, crossing my legs under me and opening the box. Inside is just a few random items, a bit of loose change, a feather earring, a postcard and a photo of a girl that I've seen before but never met.

"Rachel…" I mutter, pulling out the small folded photo. I remember what Dana said about them… being the closest of friends… maybe even closer than I ever was.

I shake that thought out of my head, knowing that whatever Chloe and I had was special… something nobody else had.

I sigh and look towards the window, catching sight of multiple  _Missing Person Poster_  scattered across her desk.

 _So it was Chloe who put up all these posters,_  I think to myself, continuing to rummage through the small box.

I next come across the postcard from Rachel which of course is addressed to Chloe. I flip the card over and read the short message left: " _Only stupid people have good relationships"._

Wait… did… did Chloe ask Rachel to be her… girlfriend? That might explain some of the "other" posters on the wall.

So… Chloe was gay. For some reason that doesn't surprise me in the least. Huh, she was always popular with the girls in school, and… now that I think about it, Chloe never actively tried to make friends with the boys… only the girls.

I remember how when Chloe would dare me to kiss her, saying " _So we can practice for the real thing_ " or " _It's just a kiss_ ".

Let me tell you, it was never " _just a kiss"_.

I could tell that she meant it as something more, even if I couldn't understand what that was.

Until now.

Oh, what I'd give to be able to kiss her again. *sigh* I- I've always wondered what Chloe saw in me as a friend, I mean… we were so different. I was always so quiet, shy and reserved while Chloe was out there causing chaos, talking to people and putting herself out there. I had shit grades and Chloe was a straight-A student, always having to help me catch up. And I can honestly spend days listing all the things that made us different, but… there were also a lot of things that made us alike.

We both loved pirates, classic movies, the ocean, traveling and… and each other.

And that's what was important.

I sigh and peer back at the photo.

I wonder what it would be like if Chloe had asked me to be her… her… *ahem* I- I mean… It would be cool and all but I- I uh…  _shit._

Who am I trying to kid, I'm jealous of a dead girl…  _two_  dead girls. I shake my head, trying to rid myself of such odd and complicated thoughts. So… does that mean I'm-. You know what? No… right now is legitimately the worst time to start questioning my sexuality.

I place everything back in the box and shove the box itself back under the bed, trying to occupy my mind with something more positive.

I get back up and finally walk to the window where a bright blue butterfly has been fluttering around for the past few minutes.

It's almost like the one I took a picture of in the bathroom on Monday. I open the window, suddenly drawn to the small winged creature and the inviting aura it holds.

The butterfly flutters inside the room, landing peacefully on the desk in front of me. I lean in and extend my finger out towards it, wondering if the little guy (or gal) will climb on. And sure enough… it does. I watch as the tiny winged creature crawls curiously on my hand, it's tiny feet feeling like kisses on my skin.

A few moments later the butterfly abruptly flies off, taking with it all the sorrow and negativity I was feeling moments ago.

I blink a few times, still in utter disbelief that the butterfly had been so calm and submissive.

"Wowser" I mutter pulling back from the window after I close it. I smile a little, deciding that I'm not going to spend the rest of my day holed up in a room. I'm going to get out and get some air, remembering Victoria's advice.

I walk over and pick up my tote bag, throwing it over my shoulder as I make my way downstairs. The house is empty aside from me, with both Joyce and David off at work. I sigh and smile when I see a small note on the table from Joyce, telling me that I'm welcome to stay at the house for as long as I'd like, and If I need to talk, the diner doors are always open. I smile smally again, deciding to take her up on that.

_Maybe I should finally talk to someone about all this shit in my head._

* * *

Anyways, once I leave the house and begin walking down the street towards the bus stop, I can't help but feel like I've been given new energy. I'm not as heartsick as I was, the sharp pains thinking of Chloe gave me have lessened down into more of a dull ache, it's not gone and I doubt the pain will ever leave me completely, but for now… it tolerable.

I hop on the bus and ride all the way to the Two Whales in silence, enjoying the views of the rather calm town.

Once at the diner, Joyce and I talk, swapping stories, keeping the topics simple and happy. Chloe's name pops up in most of these stories, but they're not sad, and Joyce seems to be handling the topic well.

I listen, slightly panicked when I hear that David and her are thinking about moving since there isn't much left for them here in Arcadia Bay.

"It's as if the town has lost all its magic," she says with a tired, deep sigh.

I nod slowly, keeping my eyes low again. She's right… our little town always seemed to have an almost supernatural quality to it. But ever since Chloe… died, nothing has felt the same.

"Joyce… do… do you think… *sigh* did Chloe ever have a-".

"If you're asking if Chloe had a crush on you, the answer has always been  _yes,_ Max," Joyce says with a tiny smile.

I blush furiously and try to look away, but I can't bring myself to do it.

"*sigh* That girl loved you to bits, you know. And I mean that in every sense of the word".

I nod and hold back a small sob caught in my throat, "I know. I- I loved her, too. I just wish I'd realized it sooner so I could tell her".

"Oh, she knew, Max… she knew".

"How? Chloe must have hated me. I- I mean… I abandoned her".

"Well, you're not wrong on that part… I'm not going to lie about that".

I nod, completely and utterly ashamed of myself, "I have no excuse for what I did,".

"No, you don't and I don't expect any, but you did come back… and in the end, that's all that really matters".

"But I- I'm here… and Chloe's… *gulp*. She didn't even know I'd come back".

"I know, Max and… I'm so sorry. I wish things were different, but *sigh* something are just meant to be".

I swallow the lump in my throat and wipe at my face, nodding slowly in agreement.

Joyce stares at me for a moment before sighing. "I- I have something to give you, Max," she says as she shuffles off behind the counter.

I watch with a raised eyebrow as she brings a small box with her and sets it down before me.

"These are… these are some of Chloe's more personal belongings. I want you to have them".

"Oh, Joyce… I- I can't take these. They belong to you," I say, catching sight of a few familiar item.

"Don't try to back out of this, Max. I-... Chloe'd want you to have them, so you're gonna take them," Joyce says with some unintentional force.

I know Joyce is suffering silently inside, so I don't fight her and accept the box.

"Thank you".

Joyce nods and wipes at a tear forming in the corner of her eye. I reach into the box, taking out the first thing that caught my eye.

"William's camera. I- I honestly don't deserve this but… God, I feel so honored and sad and…" I let my voice trail off and an uneasy feeling of dread settles in the pit of my stomach.

I swallow hard and set the camera down on the table, not wanting Joyce to see just how bad my hands are shaking.

Next, I pull out a journal, much like my own, except when I open to the first page, I see that the content is addressed to me, and so is the next page, and the next page, all of them are letters to me.

"Are these…".

"She could never bring herself to mail them, Max. she wanted to but…".

I nod a little and put everything back in the box. "I- I'll cherish these forever," I mutter.

"One more thing, Max," Joyce says, fishing something out of her apron pocket, "I want you to have this".

I blink in disbelief when she hands me a set of car keys, "What?".

"They belong to Chloe's truck. It's yours now".

"J- Joyce. I- I can't take this, It's really kind of you and all but-".

"No 'buts'. I've already spoken to your folks and signed the title over to you" she says, placing the keys in my hands and wrapping my fingers around them.

"Y- you're not serious are you? I barely have a permit!".

"You're 18 now, Max. You'll be fine" Joyce insists as she gives my shoulder a light squeeze, "Now, tell me. Have you put any thought into stayin' with us till Friday?".

I blink again and nod shyly, "I appreciate the offer, Joyce but… I think I need some time to… process all this".

"Well alright, just know our door is always open," she says, slight hurt in her voice, "Do you need a ride back to Blackwell? Her truck is still in the parking lot there, David took it there this morning".

"No… I think I'll take the bus today," I say, rubbing my elbow anxiously, the odd feeling from holding the camera still lingering,

"I- I'll see you either tomorrow or on Friday".

"Okay, sweetie. And, Max?".

I look up in acknowledgment.

"Please… take care of yourself".

"I will, but… you gotta promise you'll do the same," I say as I get up, noticing how tired and weak Joyce looks.

She nods and smiles timidly "I will… thank you, Max".

I mimic her smile and take hold of the box as I make my way out of the diner, waving her off as I do so.

The bus arrives soon after and I hop on, keeping Chloe's box of things on my lap as I take out the camera again.

 _It's… it is the first time I pick up a camera since the shooting… is that why I'm feeling like this?_ I ask myself, the feeling of unease continuing to stick with me.

I place the camera beside me and subconsciously start rubbing my wrists, which suddenly begin feeling extremely sensitive and irritated.

"Just relax, Max. You're fine".

I take a few deep breaths and wait patiently for the bus to return to Blackwell, which thankfully doesn't take that long. I once again thank the bus drive before slinking off to the dorms, eager to go through all these mementos… even if they do cause me a bit of pain.

* * *

The moment I step onto my floor, I'm bombarded with hugs from various students, but Victoria reaches me first.

"Oh my god, you're okay! What the hell, Caulfield! You can't just… you can't just disappear like that!" she says, clearly upset by my absence.

"Victoria… I didn't disappear. I told Dana I was going out" I mutter, trying to keep my box from being squashed.

"You said a quick walk!" Dana protests from somewhere in the crowd, "We all woke up and you were just… gone".

I blush, "I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare anyone. I just… I needed closer" I say, gesturing to the box in my hands.

"Oh… well, we're just glad you're okay," Victoria says turning away for a moment.

 _Is… is she blushing? Did I actually just make Victoria Chase blush?_  I think to myself, a bit of pride swelling in my chest.

"I'm glad to be back. I kinda missed you guys".

A couple of girls sigh cutely and give me a reassuring pat on the shoulder before returning to their dorms. I stay where I am until it's just me and Victoria left in the now abandoned hallway.

"Where's Kate?" I ask, trying to keep a conversation going for some reason. I haven't seen the bun-haired girl since the other day, when she left to be questioned.

"She left this morning with her parents. They're staying at a hotel until the funeral. I guess they didn't want her here after everything that's happened and I don't blame them. I just… I wish I could apologize for the whole video thing" she replies, continuing to avoid my gaze.

"It's never too late for second chances, Victoria. I have her number if you want to call,". Victoria sighs audibly and shrugs,

"I'll think about it, Max. I need to figure out what to say first,".

"How about just…  _sorry_?" I ask.

Victoria turns to me with a soft smile, "It's a start. Thanks. Anyways, you seem to be doing better".

I nod and blush a little, "Y- yeah… let's just hope it stays that way. I have an unfortunate tendency to relapse with things like this".

"I'll be here if you do… I- I mean  _we'll_ … we'll be here if you do" Victoria say, suddenly growing flustered.

I nod and begin making my way back to my dorm, "Good to know".

She blushes even more before shuffling off to her dorm.

I smile and hum dumbly to myself, closing and locking my dorm room door behind me once I enter.

I set the box down on the floor and sit down next to it, gently laying out all it's contents on the ground in front of me. I first go to Chloe's notebook, half excited, and half scared to read the supposed letters she never sent to me.

 _She's just going to chew me out for leaving her… but, I guess I deserve to know just how badly I hurt her,_ I think as I open up the journal to the first page.

I wasn't wrong about Chloe being extremely angry at me but… she… she doesn't seem all that mad. She seems more hurt than anything.

I smile smally at her crinkly lingo and try to ignore the fact that she admitted to "rubbing one" whilst thinking about Pris from Blade Runner.

"Oh, it  _does_  mean something, Chloe" I mumble with a tiny giggle as I continue flipping through the book, reading how she met Rachel Amber at a rock show.

Most of it is just telling me about her days, her dreams, her fears, her wishes, and desires, but towards the very end of the notebook is a personal profile of all her friends, including Nathan (and "Elliot" her apparent 1st "boyfriend" or hook up as she put it).

I hesitate when reading my profile, seeing one of the first things she wrote about me is that I love photography more than I love her (which is obviously not true in the slightest) but then…

> " _The worst part is that even though we haven't spoken in months, even though she habitually ignored my texts so much that I just stopped trying, even though I know, deep down, that she doesn't care about me and that she probably has all new friends up in fucking Seattle... I still miss her. If she came back tomorrow and said "hey Chloe, want to dress up like pirates and be stupid together?", I would take her back in a heartbeat._
> 
> _In a heartbeat"._

I swallow hard, desperate to keep my tears and sobs to a minimum but it doesn't work.

"Chloe…" I mutter weakly, gripping my shirt as pain shoots through my heart. "I'm here… I came back… I came back. I came back for you".

The tears continue until I can't breathe, hard, painful sobs wracking my small, frail body.

"I loved you so much, Chloe. Wherever you are you need to know that. I love you… I love you".

I fall over and continue sobbing, my tears not yet loud enough to draw attention. I stay there until the familiar numbness that comes after crying takes over my body. I sniffle, twitching every so often, my chest and sides sore from crying so hard.

"I love you so much, Chloe" I mumble in a low, raspy voice, reaching out and grabbing a polaroid I left lying out. It's the photo William, Chloe's real father, took of us… mere minutes before he died.

Oh, how I wish I could go back and stop him from leaving… stop myself from moving… tell Chloe that I loved her and I would never abandon her. If I did that maybe she would still be alive… she'd still be here… with me.

I slowly pick myself up and off the floor, keeping the photo close to my chest as I slowly crawl into bed, my tears forcibly returning.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you, Chloe," I whisper to the photo, my eyes growing heavier by the second, "I'd do anything to get you back…  _anything_ ".


	4. Episode 4: Iridescent

Episode 4: Iridescent | Iridescent~ Linkin Park

* * *

'I hit the ground  _hard,_  falling from my bed as a nightmare breaks me from my surprisingly peaceful sleep. I scramble away from my tangle of sheets, desperate to catch my breath and recover from the surreal experience I just had.

God… it was so real… so horrible. I- in my dream… I- I was 13 again and I was with Chloe. She was alive and so was William! I stopped him from leaving, so Chloe could be happy again, I thought I fixed it… I thought I'd made things better but no. I still moved and… and instead of William getting into a car accident… Chloe did.

She… she was completely paralyzed and… barely clinging to life and… it was all my fault.

I know deep down that it was just my subconscious trying to fuck with me, but dear god… it felt too real, like… like I had actually been there like I had somehow managed to go back in time and change history.

I pull my knees to my chest and start sobbing again, the memory of the nightmare still fresh in my head. This Chloe… The "Dream Chloe" she was so different from the real one (from what little I actually know about her) she was upset at me for not staying in contact but she was happy, so fucking happy that I was back and that I was with her again.

But that happiness didn't last.

"Dream Chloe" was suffering and she was in pain and she was slowly dying and… and she didn't want to be a burden anymore. The last thing she asked me before I woke up was for me to… to. I shudder visibly as "Dream Chloe's" words ring in my head.

" _I'm saying that I want this time with you… to be my last memory. Do you understand?"._

I had nodded, knowing she was in pain and that she didn't want to fight. It was clear that she had given up a long time ago. It hurt… it hurt so fucking much seeing Chloe, real or not, in pain. It killed me inside knowing that I had unknowingly did this to her.

" _All you have to do is crank the I.V to 11. I'll just drift asleep, dreaming of us here together forever"._

So I did… I did as I was told.

I gave my best friend, the girl I realized I loved when it was all too late, a lethal overdose. I knew doing this would cause some major consequences but I didn't care. Nothing mattered to me except Chloe. And if doing this made her happy, made her forgive me for all the shitty thing I had done to her, then I wouldn't hesitate for a second.

Chloe Price wanted to die. And Chloe always got what she wanted.

" _Thank you so much, I'm so proud of you for following your dreams. Don't forget about me… I love you, Max. See you around"._

And that's when I woke up, and that's why I break down in violent sobs, small screams emanating from my throat.

I'm a murderer… I fucking murdered my best friend. I killed her, I killed her. And it felt so real. It was so real. I don't even realize how loud I am until a loud bang on the door breaks me from my depressive trance.

"Do you mind shutting the fuck up in there? Some people are trying to enjoy the rest of their evenings in peace!".

I sigh and mutter a pathetic apology even though I know they can't hear me. I'm not surprised at this… I knew that… Eventually, the other students would get sick of me screaming and crying 24/7.

It's not like I can help it, I just need to cry sometimes and that's okay.

_**It's okay not to be okay** _ **.**

I'm not okay.

There… I said it.

I'm fucking psycho, I'm crazy.

I'm fucking insane in the brain and not in a good way.

I'm scared to go back to sleep now, scared that I'm going to go back to that nightmare-scape and be trapped in there forever.

I slowly rock myself in place, my tears seemingly falling endlessly from my eyes.

"I'm so sorry".

I honestly don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I mean, sure the funeral is tomorrow but… what do I do  _after_  that?

I refuse to go back to fucking Seattle… I've left enough of my life here and now I promised myself never to abandon Chloe again.

I'm going to stick to that even if she isn't really here anymore.

I eventually settle down, but a loud buzzing sound makes me jump out of my skin.

"It's your phone, Max. Stop being so fucking paranoid," I scold myself as I get up off the floor and walk over to my phone which sits on the small bedside table near the door. I grab it and pull the phone to my ear without checking to see who it is. "Hello?" I say in a hoarse, rough voice.

The other line is silent for a moment and all I can hear is the wind howling in the background.

I press the phone closer to my face, trying to figure out what's going on. "Hello?".

" _Max?"_  says an echoey and hauntingly familiar voice.

I drop the phone and stumble back, falling back down on the floor in a desperate attempt to get as much distance between me and my phone as possible.

"No, no… no," I mutter, shaking my head vigorously.

No.

It's impossible, it's not real… I can't be hearing her voice, not now, not right now!

I swallow hard and inch closer to my phone, continuing to hear a muffled voice calling from the other side.

"Chloe…".

I pick the phone back up and press it lightly against my ear, "H- hello?".

**_["Max! Hey, thought I lost you there for a second. Is… is everything okay? I haven't really seen you around all that much this week. I mean, I get why and all but… I'm worried about you"]_ **

I sigh weakly and sit on the edge of my bed, running a shaking hand through my matted hair.

_It's just Warren, Max…, not Chloe. Chloe was never really there, you're just hearing things._

Maybe… maybe I am going crazy. I keep hearing things, having those  _visions_  and nightmares and… they're getting harder to tell apart from actual reality.

"I- I um, I'm okay, Warren. I just need a little space until the funeral tomorrow" I mumble, my voice shaking slightly, but not enough to be noticed, "Y- you're coming... right?".

 ** _["Of course I am! But I- I really don't think you should be alone. You've been through a lot and you're going through a lot and I think you should talk to someone"]_  **he insists, ** _[ For example… me."]_**

"I'm fine, Warren… honest, I am. I- I just need  _time_  to… to… I don't know.  _Grieve_ , I guess. Chloe was… *sigh* she meant a lot to me and I'm just struggling to come to terms with what that means now that she's gone. I am okay though, Warren. I don't want you to worry about me… okay?" I reply with a tiny sigh.

The line goes silent for a moment before Warren speaks again.

 ** _["Fine. You_   _be that way!"]_**  he snaps aggressively. **_["I've done nothing but be kind and nice to you, I'm always there when you needed me and this is how you thank me?!"]_**

"Jesus, Warren… calm down. I- I'm sorry but I really want to be left alone right now," I reply in a small, slightly intimidated voice, "I'm sorry if that upsets you".

**_["You're damn right it upsets me! I'm just trying to be a good friend, Max and this is the thanks I get. You know what… I don't believe that you're sorry. You never sound sorry, you always blow me off like I'm fucking nothing. You always blow me off!_ Well _, guess what, Max? It fucking worked this time… I get the message. Don't bother trying to call or talk to me again!]_**

The call ends and I'm left there confused, hurt, scared and dumbfounded.

Did… did Warren just dump me… as a friend? But… what… what did I do? I- I mean, wanting a bit of space after watching somebody gets killed isn't a reason to not want to be friends anymore… right?

God, this is such a mindfuck. Warren is never like this, he's always so happy-go-lucky.

I grip my phone in my ever shaking hand and stand up, hot tears burning in my eyes.

"It's not fair… it's just not fair!" I say, forcefully throwing my phone against the wall, watching as it shatters upon contact.

I start crying again, feeling more alone than I have in days, even with the kindness and support of my friends. My whole life has gone to shit in a matter of days. My best friend is dead and she'll never know just how much I loved her. Then, my other friend basically tells me to go fuck myself because I'm in pain because I don't know what to do with myself now that the girl I loved is dead.

"Fuck. This. Place." I mutter, grabbing my tote back and charging out the door, nearly running directly into Victoria, Taylor, and Courtney as they pass by.

"Watch where you're going, bitch," she snaps, aggressively shoving me away.

"Yeah, bitch, watch where you're going," Taylor quips.

I blink, taken aback by Victoria's sudden change in mood. What the fuck is going on? One day Victoria is being nice to me, then the next she's back to being queen "b"?

"Did you even hear me, or has hanging out with that dropout numbskull girlfriend of yours made you dumber?".

I blush, "Girlfriend? What… what are you talking about?  _Who,_  are you talking about?".

"Don't play fucking dumb, Max. That blue-haired bitch you've been sneaking around with all week!" Victoria snaps, a smile coating her face when a visible flash of pain crosses mine.

"*Gulp* Chloe… y- you're talking about Chloe" I mutter.

"Yes..  _her_. You know, I always took you for a queer. Huh, maybe that's why you're so fucking weird".

She pushes me back again, making me pin myself against my now closed door.

"W- why are you being so mean to me?" I ask in a low timid voice.

"Give me one fucking good reason why I should be nice? You fucking mocked me when I got splashed with paint on Monday  _and_  took pictures! You blame me for Kate trying to off herself when we all know she was fucked up in the headspace. Ugh, and don't even get me started on Nathan. I just know you had some play in his expulsion!".

I blink a few times, trying to process all that new information.

I never mocked Victoria for anything, and when and why did Kate try to… to hurt herself? Nathan is god knows where hopefully locked up for shooting and killing an innocent girl. I- I don't… I don't understand what any of this means.

"Oh, shit… look. Her nose is bleeding" Courtney whispers to Taylor.

I immediately press my hand against my face, feeling warm blood pool on my upper lip.

"You're such a creep, Max. You know that… right, Caulfield?" Victoria says, walking even closer to me.

I swallow hard and desperately try to get myself to calm down.

"See. This is why you don't have any friends,".

"Stop…" I mutter quietly.

"You never talk to anyone. You always have your nose shoved behind that hideous Polaroid camera of yours" she says, now standing mere inches away from me.

"Please… stop" I mutter again, my voice heavy with pain and tears.

"Aww, look. I made poor, scared little, Max cry. Huh, it serves you right. Nobody messes with me bitch!".

I lose it at that point and shove Victoria away in a desperate attempt to get away from her but she, of course, takes is the wrong way.

"Oh, you want to fight, bitch? You want to fucking fight, then come fight!".

"No… I- I don't-" I mumble, getting cut off when Victoria throws the first punch.

I fall to the ground, stunned. I grab the side of my face and stumble away, tasting something metallic in my mouth.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry".

By now, some of the other girls have gathered in the hallway, watching as I make a beeline for the door.

"That's right, you better run!" Victoria snaps, trying to break away from the other girl's grips.

* * *

I don't stick around to see if she does, I'm out the door and flying down the stairs and pushing through the main doors.

I reach the main building, but I keep going.

I reach the parking lot, but I keep going.

I reach the edge of campus school, but I keep going.

I reach the forested outskirts surrounding the school, but I keep going.

I only slow down when I trip, landing hard in a puddle of fresh rainwater.

"Sh-shit…".

I struggle to get up, my knees and palms stinging from the impact with the dirt.

I cough a bit, feeling blood drip from my busted lip and watch it drop into the puddle below me.

I whimper a little and pick myself up off the ground, feeling cold, icy rain pelt my back.

_It's… raining?_

I look up at the darkened sky that swirls in unnatural ways. Thunder rumbles in the distance and wind whirl around me.

_A storm… there was no storm scheduled for today… unless…_

"The tornado," I mutter, my mind going back to the visions I've been having all week.

They can't be real… right? Right?!

I swallow hard and shake my head, trying to convince myself that it's all in my head.

I fumble for my phone for a moment before remembering that it's in pieces in my dorm room.

Dragging my already damp hoodie sleeve across my face, I look around at my surroundings, realizing that… I have no clue where I am.

I spin around a few times, trying to see if I can pick up where I am and if I'm still close to the school.

I take a few steps forward, my legs feeling weak from all the running. I continue to walk forward, opposite the way I came.

*Sigh* there's no use going back to my dorm, that is unless I have a death wish.

God, what happened back there? Victoria was being so kind and nice to me and  _poof!_  She punches me straight in the face.

I wince a little when I touch the side of my face, feeling a bruise beginning to form. I knew that she could get her rage on but this is uncalled for.

And… and why was she acting like the shooting never happened, talking about Chloe like she never died?

Was she just getting close to me so she could tear me down even more than I already am?

I rub my head and sigh, pushing through the bramble until I hit the road leading up to the school.

I made it pretty far in a short amount of time and considering I'm no athlete, I'm vaguely impressed with myself.

Looking down the hill a little ways, I spot the bus stop that will take me back to town and start making my way towards it.

The rain slows me down a bit and by the time that I reach the covered awning, I'm a drenched, shivering, sniffling mess.

I already decided to go and take Joyce's offer and stay with her for the rest of the night, not exactly feeling safe at the dorms after today.

The diner should still be open, even this late (it's probably around 10 or 11).

It doesn't take long for the bus to arrive and once I on get on and sit down, I realize just how bad I'm shaking. My body is wracked with violent shivers and short spasms.

Maybe running out of the dorms like that wasn't such a good idea, I should have gone back and hidden in my dorm until tomorrow.

I'm in nothing but a thin t-shirt and hoodie which offer little to no warmth now that I'm drenched head to toe.

The bus driver doesn't question my state or why I'm all wet and riding on the bus at 11 o'clock at night.

I'm thankful for his silence, the only sound on the bus is of a few people chattering and my awkward sniffling and pathetic whimpers.

After a few minutes, the bus pulls up and lets me off at the Two Whales diner, which is already locked and closed up.

I sigh sharply and return to the bus stop, only to find that the bus is already driving down the street.

"W- wait!" I cry, running after it even though I know it's no use.

I stop, my chest heaving as I cough painfully.

"F- fuck!".

I look around me, seeing that most of the town is deserted, all the shops and businesses are closed up for the night.

And now, I'm stranded without shelter.

I sniffle a little, looking up towards the sky, seeing the lighthouse breaking through the sleet and the rain.

Without even realizing it, I start walking towards it. It's almost as if I'm drawn to it by some unseen force, guiding me to the safety of the tall building. The nature trail begins a few blocks down from the Two Whales, so I get there in no time at all and start making my way up the slippery, water-soaked hill.

 _This has to be some sort of fate,_  I think to myself, realizing that all my visions have led me to the lighthouse.

_There has to be a reason for all this insanity._

Everything is the same as in my vision. The wind picks up and thunder and lightning crash all around me. I reach the top of the cliff, horrified to see the tornado actually manifesting before my eyes.

"N- No… this isn't real," I mutter, shuffling back towards the steps of the lighthouse.

My leg gets caught on some loose debris and I fall back, immediately placing my on my head, covering my ears as the wind seems to be screaming my name.

_Max! Max! Max! Max!_

I close my eyes, digging my nails into my skelp.

I don't understand...

What's happening to me… a- and why?

What did I do to deserve this?

Is this my punishment for not doing something to help Chloe?

The wind starts swirling round and round and round. The screams grow louder and louder until they out voice mine. My head is in agony, it feels like my mind is being torn apart. I pull my knees to my chest and curl up into a tight ball, waiting for what seems like the end of the world.

 _Max!_  The wind continues to yell, growing louder and louder until once again, all that's left is white noise'.

* * *

"MAX!"

I jolt up, feeling something slap across my face. My ears are ringing and my vision is blurred.

"N- no no no no!" I cry, pushing away from the hands the try to hold me.

"Max!" the voice calls again, grabbing my shoulders again.

I can't catch my breath, I can't breathe, everything is going too fast. I cough painfully, my chest heaving violently.

"Max! Max, calm down, calm down, you're okay! You're okay!".

I continue coughing until I eventually feel my lungs relax and I feel like I can breathe again, all my senses slowly coming back to me.

"Max?" the echoey voice says again, giving me a firm shake, "Max? Hey, I think she's coming too, guys!".

I blink a few times, my vision clearing slightly, "V- Victoria?".

"Max! Hey… it's okay… you're okay," she says.

"What… where…" I mutter weakly in a painfully hoarse voice as I look around at my surroundings, catching sight of all my dorm mates.

I'm… back in my dorm room?

"Take it easy, Max," Victoria says, seeing my panicked expression, "You were having like… one of those vivid nightmares, I think. You were full on screaming bloody murder,".

I blink a few times and scoot back, putting a good amount of space between us.

"Y- you h- hit me" I mutter again, "W- why?".

"Max you wouldn't wake up," Brooke says, "We thought you were having a seizure or something".

"I didn't hurt you did I?" Victoria asks.

I give her an odd look before I notice the smell of metal and rust in the air.

"Shit, her nose is bleeding again," Dana says as she runs for the door, "I'll go get some more towels".

I lift my hand up and wipe at my nose, pulling back to see an alarming amount of blood. "S- shit...".

"It's okay, Max. It's just a bloody nose" Kate says, calmly, coming up and rubbing my shoulder.

I pull away even more, "N- no… th- the storm… l- lighthouse… t- tornado! How am I?" I mutter, struggling to get my words straight.

The girls look around at each other confused, lost on what I'm rambling about. "Give her some space guys. She's still spaced out," Taylor says, leading Kate away from me.

I swallow hard and shake my head, "I- I… what… what happened?".

"We… We don't really know, Max. You were out cold for like, the whole day and then you kinda just started crying in your sleep and then it progressed into screaming," Stella says, "Victoria was the one who was able to get your door open and make sure you were okay".

Victoria smiles timidly at this.

So… all that… that  _whole_  experience was a dream? A dream with a dream?

God, my mind  _ **really**  _must be a fucked up place if it came up with that.

_Take a breath, Max, You're okay now... **this**  is reality, it sucks but... you're safe._

"You okay, now? You're shaking..." she says, sounding genuinely concerned.

I nod and sigh weakly, "T- that's kinda a thing now,".

She looks at me again, "Was it about Chloe?".

I swallow the lump in my throat and nod, figuring that would be easier to explain than what I actually dreamt of.

The room goes silent for a moment, everybody other than Victoria not knowing just how much the blue haired girl meant to me.

I sigh and sniffle a bit, my tears mixing with the blood from my nose. "C- can I get up now? I- I need to... w- wash m- my face,"

"Yeah, just... are you sure you're okay?".

I shrug, not really sure myself.

"Alright... come on. Let's get you cleaned up," Victoria says as she gets to her feet, offering a hand out to me.

I take it with slight hesitation, still really shaken up by the surreal nightmare. I wobble unsteadily on my feet and nearly fall over.

"Easy, easy, we got you," Juliet says, helping Victoria and the other girls lead me over to the shower room.

"I- I got it from here guys," I mutter softly once they have me standing steadily in front of one of the mirrors, "I- I need a minute to p- prosses this s- shit".

Victoria nods understandably and pushes the other girls out the door as they complain about not wanting to leave me by myself in case I try anything.

I'm not stupid. Well, I'm not  _that_  stupid, anyway.

I sigh and face myself in the mirror, seeing my pale face smeared with blood, my eyes large and puffy from crying, and my sweat soaked hair is sticking to my skin.

I take one of the towels Dana gave me and run it under the tap and begin working on scrubbing the fresh and dry blood off my face.

 _God, how much did I bleed?_  I think to myself, realizing I've gotten drops of blood on my shirt too.  _I should probably shower... and get ready for the funeral tomorrow..._

"The funeral," I mutter softly, leaning on the cool ceramic sink, "Just one more day, Max... just one more day".


	5. Episode 5: The Courage of Stars

Episode 5: The Courage of Stars| Saturn~ Sleeping At Last

* * *

I don't even know if I fell asleep last night, everything from last night is still…  _blurry._

Victoria stayed with me, I think. At least until I got a grip on reality and relaxed. She… she's changed, in a good way though. And… I hope we can stay friends. She actually seems like a really cool person I'd be glad to call a friend.

Anyways, after what feels like hours, I somehow manage to stumble out of bed and into the once again clear shower block. As good as this shower feels, I can't help but cringe at the hot, needle-like water droplets that strike my tender pink skin. I take a few deep breaths to steady myself, trying to forget the bizarre experience I had yesterday, the memories of the non-existent tornado still fresh in my mind.

"It's okay, Max," I say, once again talking to myself, "Just… just take it easy. You're going to be okay".

I honestly don't believe my own words. It's not going to be okay. I don't think I ever will be again. I- I feel so lost now, I don't know what to do with myself. It was always the plan to call up Chloe again, that was part of the reason I came to Blackwell in the first place. I sniffle a little before realizing I'm crying again.

"N- no," I scold myself aggressively dragging my bare arm across my face, "No more crying. No more tears".

Sighing, I turn off the tap and redress myself, shivering slightly when the cold chill from the dorms, hits my wet skin.

Everyone is still asleep at this point, meaning I have a little bit of time to get ready. My mom, despite still not really having been in contact with me for this past week, mailed me a short black dress to wear to the funeral today, along with something that I haven't seen in years.

I reach into the box Mom sent me and slowly pull out a beautiful Doe necklace.

I sigh nostalgically and rest the piece of jewelry in my still shaking hands. Chloe bought me this when I was 10… it took her almost a month to get. She saved up her allowance, snuck dollars from the 'swear jar', and sold little trinkets from her room just so she could buy me this.

I couldn't bear wearing it after I moved, just looking at it was a painful reminder or the girl I left behind. I don't get that feeling when I put it on now if anything I feel closer to Chloe. I sigh a little and slip into the dress, not exactly used to dressing super feminine, but for Chloe, I'd do anything.

I look at myself in the mirror once I'm done changing and try hard to crack a tiny smile.

"Chin up now, pip pip," I mutter, repeating what my Dad would say whenever I was feeling down.

The smile looks and feels unnatural on my face so I don't force it, letting my seemingly permanent frown return.

I sigh again and look over to the box of Chloe's belongings, walking over and picking out some of her bracelets.

Is… is it like taboo to wear a dead girl's jewelry? At this point, I honestly don't care. I just want this nightmare to be over.

I slip out of my room and silently make my way out of the dorm building, needing some time to myself before facing the inevitability of Chloe's funeral.

I slowly make my way through the campus, pausing when I see Samuel the janitor sitting alone on one of the benches, feeding the squirrels that always seem to flock around him.

"Good morning, Samuel," I say with as much warmth as I can muster.

"Why, hello young Max. You're out early this mornin'," he says, smiling at me as if he doesn't have a care in the world.

I nod and sigh a little, "Yeah… t- today's um, today's the funeral for the girl that got shot on Monday,".

Samuel remains quiet for a second, giving me a sorry smile.

"Ol' Samuel takes it you knew the blue-haired girl well?".

I nod again, "Chloe. We um, we grew up together as kids but, I moved 5 years ago and um… she didn't know I came back,". I swallow the sob in my throat and try not to make a scene in front of the janitor. "S- so here I am! Going to the funeral she doesn't even know I'm attending".

"I think she knows Max," he says, "Samuel met Chloe when she was at Blackwell. She was an…  _angry_  soul. That girl Rachel Amber seemed to help with her temper, but young Chloe never always seemed like she was waiting for someone, never letting herself get too close to anybody, even her Angel".

I blink, surprised that Samuel knew so much… but then again, I guess that's the perks of being quiet and observant.

While I don't want to assume anything, I'm guessing that I'm the one Chloe was waiting for… which honestly just makes me feel worse.

I sigh and sniffle again, trying to hide my watering eyes.

"Don't be sad, Max. She'll always be alive in our hearts… Sometimes, that's all we have left," Samuel says, scattering bits of bread out in front of him, watching as two squirrels run up to gain their free meal.

I chuckle a little, "You love these little guys… don't you?".

He nods, "Of course, they're Samuel's spirit animal! Say, Max… what kind of animals do you see in the forest?".

I blush sudden, "I um… D- don't laugh but… I saw a doe that seemed to be looking right at me. Like it was trying to communicate".

"Oh, that's  _your_ spirit animal! Nothing weird there except you saw yours. Might've been a sign about your destiny".

I swallow hard at the destiny bit, "Um… yeah. That… that would make sense".

Samuel nods and looks out towards the slowly brightening sky, "You might want to get a move on, Max. The sun'll be rising soon,".

I blink, slightly taken aback, "Oh… y- yeah. Um... I… I'll see you soon, Samuel".

He nods as and gives me another smile.

"One more thing, Max".

I pause, turning back to him only after a few steps.

"Samuel thinks Chloe will always be with you in spirit, you just need to know where to look".

I feel the blood drain from my face at this, "I- I will, Samual… Um, thank you,".

"Hope to be seeing you around soon, Young Max. I've got a feeling things are going to be different after today".

"L- let's hope," I mutter, taking a small step back towards the parking lot.

Samuel waves me off as I quickly make my way over to the parking lot, gipping Chloe's truck keys in my hands.

* * *

That was… weird.

Even for Samuel.

He can be weirdly prophetic and sometimes cryptic, but wowsers, can he see into the future now?

Did he know where I was planning to go?

_Just… focus on getting out of here, Max. You can worry about Cryptic Samuel later._

It's... been a while since I've driven so it's a little weird sitting behind the wheel again.

"Deep breaths, Max," I say gripping the steering wheel and starting the engine.

I pull out of the school parking lot and drive along the main road, having one destination in mind. There must be some reason I was constantly drawn to the lighthouse and the cliffside in my dreams. It has to have something to do with all the weird shit going on around town.

Something… something bigger is going on, and I get the feeling that everything is tied to Chloe dying in the bathroom. Since the incident,  _so_  many horrible and fucked up things have come forward from the most unlikely people.

Kate came forward and revealed that she was drugged at the last Vortex Club party.

Nathan admitted to being responsible for that and countless other kidnappings and druggings, including the death and murder of Rachel Amber.

Mr. Jefferson, who was responsible for manipulating and guiding Nathan into his horrid acts, has been arrested for multiple things that I'd honestly rather not mention.

I shutter uncomfortably at the mention of his name for some reason.

_It's okay, Max. That sick fucker is gone and he's going to pay for everything he did._

_For Kate._

_For Rachel._

_And for Chloe._

I sigh anxiously when the lighthouse comes into sight, a thin layer of morning mist and fog resting on the road as I pull into the nature trail parking lot.

I flick off the engine and slide out of the cab, the cold air once again striking my bare legs. I shiver slightly and slam the truck door closed before briskly making my way up the hill.

"Nothing's going to be up there, Max," I say, reassuring myself that I'm not going to see a freak tornado manifest out of nowhere, "Just… take a moment to stop and watch the sunrise. You… you've earned it after the week of hell you've had".

_Wow, talking to yourself like an idiot. Maybe you really have gone crazy. But I guess we're all mad here._

I snicker to myself as I finally reach the top of the cliff, nearly out of breath.

The sun is just beginning to peek out from under the horizon, painting the sky in hues of pink, yellow and gold.

I walk up to the edge of the cliff, looking over the entirety of Arcadia Bay.

This is my favorite thing about the lighthouse, the view.

You can see the whole town from here, not that there's much to see.

Chloe and I loved coming up here, watching as quiet waves lapped and the sandy beaches.

I sigh a little and look back at the ever lightening sky as the sun finally shows itself, it's welcoming rays warming my skin.

The sky continues to brighten until there's a sudden, harsh flash of light.

* * *

" _Hey, can you hear me? Earth to Max!_

_It's… it's me._

_Chloe._

_I- I don't have a lot of time so I'll make this quick. What you did… was brave. You did the right thing, letting me go. I know was hard and… hurt like a bitch but… *sigh* it was still the right thing to do. After this... you'll remember everything we went through that week… before you went back… and, I need you to promise not to blame yourself too much._

_This is on me. I- I always wanted to die a heroic death and shit and… now, 'cause of you. I did. Huh, sorry. Sounded funnier in my head. Hmm, guess I'm still an asshole as a ghost or angel or whateverthefuck I am._

_So… um, I'm not going to lie to you, Max. You… you're gonna hurt for a while, dealing with the guilt of letting me go and all, But… you did it, Max! You saved everyone! I… I'm so sorry I'm put you through all this. Nobody… and I mean_ _**nobody,** _ _especially you, should have to go through this amount of pain and heartache. I was an idiot and out of all the people I hurt, hurting you hurts the most. Huh, does that even make sense? Fuck if I know._

_Anyway, you… you won't remember what the 'Other Max' did in this timeline because of your whole 'time jump' thing, but… gah, I don't know. This shit is confusing. Just… take care of yourself, and Mom and… David, I guess, okay? Just… keep doing the shit that makes you happy. You might not believe it but… you do deserve happiness. All of it. And I wish I was the one to give it to you. God do I wish that._

_I- I need you to know something, Max and… I know I said it on the cliff and shit but… god, do I love you. I always have. Hell, I still do. My love for you will never die. You hear?_

_I… I gotta go now, but... I'm never leaving you, Max. I'll always have your back… always._

_And Maxine Caulfield?_

_Don't you forget about me"_

* * *

I blink a few times, stumbling a little as I take in my surroundings.

 _I'm… back at the lighthouse which means_ … it's over.

I sigh weakly and look back out at the horizon, the sun now a good distance above the water.

I remember.

I remember everything now.

My powers, the tornado, Jefferson, the 'Dark Room', Rachel, Nathan, Kate, Victoria and…

"Chloe..." I say softly, my heart pounding in my chest.

We… we kissed. I kissed Chloe and she… she kissed me back.

We were standing right here… right in this exact spot.

"Oh, my sweet, sweet, Chloe" I mutter again, still feeling the tingling sensation of her lips against mine.

Huh, I sorta wish she kissed me like that back in her room.

I smile genuinely for the first time in what feels like years. I sigh and look out at the town, both hurt and relieved that it's still there.

All I can do is pray that things changed… that Kate got justice, Rachel got her revenge, that Jefferson got locked away for good, and Nathan got the help he so desperately needs.

"I… I don't know how I'm going to do this without you, Chloe…" I say again, talking to nothing but the air, hoping that in some other reality she can still hear and see me, "W- we've been through everything together… and now…".

My words trail off for a second as I look down at myself, seeing I'm dressed in a short black dress with a familiar necklace around my neck.

"- And now I have to say goodbye to you again".

I swallow the lump in my throat and blink away my tears, focusing on the sunrise once more before I turn around and head back down the cliff.

Chloe's truck is waiting there for me, meaning I must have driven here on my own. Joyce must have given me the keys to the truck after Chloe… died.

 _Deep breath, Max_  I tell myself and I lean my forehead against the cold pane of the truck window and steady myself,  _you got this._

* * *

Driving to the cemetery was the easy part, getting out, facing the surprising amount of student and faculty that showed up, and walking up to the casket is another matter entirely.

"Out of everything I've done… This should be the least scary thing I do," I say to myself, trying to keep myself calm and composed. It's honestly no use, I know the moment I step out of this truck I'm going to disappear into a puddle of tears.

I wait until everyone else arrives before finally sliding out of the cab and joining them.

This morning is calm and quiet, peaceful almost, with absolutely no sign of a freak tornado showing up unannounced.

The birds are quiet and the wind is still, making it feel like time has stopped, I shudder slightly at that thought and continue moving, feeling Warren walk up beside me.

He smiles softly as if asking I'm okay.

I give no clear response… I just look at him with a blank stare, tears already forming in my eyes.

He gets the message immediately and respects my space.

I sigh weakly once he's gone.

_Sorry, Warren._

I look up at Joyce who barely seems to be keeping it together, David seemingly holding her up as we all approach the casket and headstone that now reads:

 **William Price: 1970-2008 & Chloe Price: 1994-2013**.

 _I'm so sorry, William…. I'm so sorry I couldn't save her_  I think to myself, fighting off memories of my past mistakes.

I look up at Joyce again, feeling a horrible pang of guilt shoot through my gut,  _I'm sorry too, Joyce. Nobody deserves to lose their husband and child._

I take a deep breath and close my eyes before finally allowing my gaze to settle on the casket.

I… I can't believe she's actually in there.

She's… right there.

Gone but… still there.

The service begins soon after I arrived and needless to say, it's beautiful. Made even more emotional by a sad indie song softly playing in the background.

I want to say something when people start giving their eulogies, but… what  _can_  I say without sounding completely insane? I snicker inwardly, imagining myself quoting a eulogy from a book I read not too long ago. It had something to do with  _star-crossed lovers_  and  _math_  and " _little infinities"_ or something along those lines.

I sigh a little and wipe at my eyes, feeling the emotions I've been forcing back begin to bubble up.

When it's my turn to speak, the priest asks if I'd like to say a few words and everyone looks at me expectantly, but I shake my head politely.

"She knows how I feel…" I mutter softly, "She knows".

Everyone respects my wishes to remain silent as they continue with the service.

After a moment, I look up, catching a beautiful flash of blue.

It's… it's the  _butterfly_...

The one that started it all.

I watch in awe as it flutters down and lands gracefully on the casket in front of everyone. I look around, waiting for someone else to notice but… no one does.

 _Am… am I the only one who can see you?_  I think, watching as if flaps and flutters around without a care in the world.

It's odd… watching the butterfly now fills me with an almost familiar sense of content.

It… it makes me feel a small bit better.

I let a smile grace my lips, knowing that somehow… no matter what happens next… I'm going to be okay.


End file.
